sunday april 29

today i was walking down waterloo street when i was stopped by two young girls - approximately seven years old - who were selling lemonade and asked me if i'd like to buy any for 75 cents. regrettably, i'd spent my last $1.75 in sizable change earlier in the day on a 'peach passion' beverage and only had an assortment of pennies, nickels and dimes that did not amount to 75 cents! as i struggled to attempt to explain this to the more vocal of the two girls, the other one announced that it didn't matter, they were out of lemonade anyway! before i continued on my way down the street, they teased me about maybe getting "a couple drops" and generally proved themselves more witty and socially apt than me.


saturday april 28

today i took the 5-springbank bus and encountered a guy called 'thor' who bore a striking resemblance to philip seymour hoffman if hoffman were playing aileen wuornos, and also had a large, needy girlfriend.


friday april 27

today i was told by a random guy in the bathroom of the alex p. keaton that he had faith in my ability to be a man.


thursday april 26

today i was rummaging through the mess on my desk when i found a dvd that i had borrowed from a friend three months ago, intending to watch it right away, but had apparently yet to find two hours for.


wednesday april 25

today i began eating a large bag of chips when 'lost' started, and finished the bag before the episode ended. healthy living.


tuesday april 24

today i found out at 8:56 am what room i'd be writing my 9:00 am exam in.


monday april 23

today i was trying to get to sleep and it just wasn't working. i decided to resort to the traditional 'counting sheep' strategy, but when i began, i realized that i wasn't quite sure precisely what the right technique was. do i count them as they fly across my line of vision, one by one? or is there just a big herd, and i have to be careful not to count the same one twice? if it's the latter, am i allowed to move them over to one side after they've been counted? these were the types of questions running through my mind when i fell asleep.


sunday april 22

today i heard the phone ringing and glanced at the call display, which said: "rickert corey." i didn't know anyone by this name, and the phone is never for me, but i was the only person home, so i answered it. i had to say "hello?" multiple times, and after some hesitation, the girl on the other end finally asked: "is this corey rickert?" when i told her that i was not, in fact, corey rickert, she concluded that she had the wrong number. try calling your own phone maybe!!!


saturday april 21

today i was hangin' out in my house when i heard loud voices coming from outside. it seemed that upwards of 30 or 40 high-school-age kids had congregated on the street directly outside my house. some were on my lawn. my brother went out to investigate the goings-on and reported back that two girls were about to fight (they did, a circle formed, and they went down to the cement!! then a police car came). this led to the following exchange:

my brother: "i think it's over a guy."
me: "oh yeah?"
my brother: "well why else would two girls fight."


friday april 20

today i made $67.43 without leaving my house.

thursday april 19

today i was sitting at my computer desk when i suddenly begin to feel rather tired. i began to slide further and further down in my chair until i eventually fell completely off and keeled over onto the ground. i lay there for approximately 15 minutes, even falling asleep, until the phone rang and prompted me to get up.


wednesday april 18

today i found my coat pocket getting overcrowded and decided to pull out and throw out a crumpled up receipt that had been there all day. upon taking it out of my pocket and glancing at it, i noticed that it was an odd colour for a receipt, a shade of blue. i began to uncrumple it and quickly realized that it was no a receipt at all, but in fact a five dollar bill.


tuesday april 17

today i imagined how i'd react in a situation similar to the virgina tech shootings, and couldn't even be a hero in my own daydreams, when i questioned whether i'd have enough upper body strength to tackle a potential gunman to the ground, even if i 'had the drop' on him.

monday april 16

today i realized that the expression that the woman is making on that one casinorama billboard advertisement (where she's just won big at the slots!) is the exact same expression that the woman in the spam e-mail i keep getting sent is making, when she sees her man's post-enlargement-patch member for the first time.


sunday april 15

today i arrived at campus so early for an exam that at one point as i walked up the hill towards university college, not one other person was in sight.

saturday april 14

today i became an unwilling participant in a neighbourhood game of squirrel chicken, when i drove down my street and had to swerve to avoid two different street-crossing squirrels within a 20-second span.


friday april 13

today i turned my television on at 8:57 pm, despite still needing to write 1200 words in an essay due by midnight, because the blue jays game was tied in the ninth inning. i watched the game until they won in the 10th inning, and submitted my essay at 11:32.


thursday april 12

today i noticed a fresh discolouration on the carpeted area of a stair in my house. while the stain was, as mentioned, located on a stair, and was noticeably shaped like a footprint, i gave it wide berth and inspected it extremely carefully on the off chance that it was, in fact, dog urine.

wednesday april 11

today i happily encouraged a representative of the 'weed man' lawn care company to fertilize our lawn, despite the fact that it didn't need to be done.


tuesday april 10

today i wore an old pair of jeans so tight that i could comfortably walk around the house without buttoning the button.


monday april 9

today i assisted my mother in clearing leftover inventory and shelving from her closing bookstore. to aid the project, a massive dumpster, approximately nine feet high, was placed behind the store for large garbage. since the door was rather cumbersome and a chore to open, i took to launching the manageable garbage into the bin shot-put style, as if i were an olympian.

sunday april 8

today i witnessed the transition of eras, when, for the first time ever, my grandmother gave me planter's cashews for easter instead of miniature chocolate easter eggs covered in bright tin foil.


saturday april 7

today i ate six consecutive mentos even though my breath wasn't particularly bad.

friday april 6

today i visited my grandparents in honour of my birthday. while talking to my grandmother about what i'd done during the day, i mentioned that i'd helped a friend out with a film project, which prompted her to ask: "you have a friend?" good burn, grandma!!


thursday april 5

today i played a game of madden '07 on the 'rookie' skill level with the sole intent of seeing how many points i could score in a game with otherwise regular settings. it ended 234-0.


wednesday april 4

today i made some oven-cooked mini pizzas. after taking them out of the oven, i attempted to scoop them from the pan to my plate. while transferring the second one, i lost control and it began to flip towards the ground. in the ensuing melee, pizza got all over my shirt, my jeans, the ground, and the side of the kitchen counter. but, while it was left with very few toppings and mostly just sauce, that mini-pizza did not hit the ground!!

tuesday april 3

today i had the doo dah doo doo song stuck in my head so incessantly that almost unconsciously began singing it under my breath at the dinner table, prompting my brother to ask: "what?" and me to mumble: "... nothing."


monday april 2

today i had arguably the worst morning ever, one that consisted of failed essay-printing attempts, a drop-box pickup deadline missed by five minutes, over 45 minutes of waiting at bus stops, and only two hours of sleep.


sunday april 1

today i fell for pretty much every april fool's prank that anyone tried to pull.

saturday march 31

today i had a song dedicated to my sternum.