friday june 29

today i reluctantly listened to a full-volumed alanis morisette cd.


thursday june 28

today i went to shave my face and discovered that my electric razor had died -- though it was charged, nothing happened when i turned the switch to 'on'! this led me to wondering if i'd be lazy enough about the process of fixing this one or acquiring a new one to find out if i could actually grow a beard or not.


wednesday june 27

today i went to the mall to buy a pair of shoes. my only pair was falling apart to the point where i wasn't sure that they'd last through another rigorous workout (of which i have a lot). i often have trouble finding the right pair of shoes, factoring in price, size, and style, so i was bracing myself for a long, drawn-out process. then i bought the first pair i tried on in the first store i entered.


tuesday june 26

today i was walking home along the sidewalk when i spotted a squirrel in the grass nearby, crouched down and seemingly poised to pounce on something unsuspecting. as i walked closer, i kept expecting the squirrel to make his move, as squirrels are wont to do when passersby enter their generous personal bubbles. as i passed within feet of him though, i came to the sudden and sobering realization that the squirrel was not, in fact, positioned in that particular pose because he was prepared to pounce, but rather because he was dead.


monday june 25

today i watched before sunset just before sunrise.


sunday june 24

today i awoke from a dream about zombies (in which i killed a fictional zombie ex-girlfriend with only a pen that she'd been using as a hairpin), convinced that it was recycling day and i'd missed it, despite the fact that it was a sunday.


saturday june 23

today i watched my cousin get married in greece via a choppy, soundless webcam feed.


friday june 22

today i was walking down my street when i happened to notice, out of the corner of my eye, someone staring at me from the second-floor window of a house on my left. i looked up, and saw not a person, but rather a pug dog, sitting at the window, staring. immediately when i looked his way, however, he turned away and nonchalantly pretended to be studying the inside of the window very intently, just like a real person would do (if caught staring).


thursday june 21

today i arrived at my on-air radio debut with so little time to spare that i had no instruction on how to properly use the microphone before i began to speak into it.


wednesday june 20

today i decided to make some post-bar food upon arriving home from call the office. i put one of my 'ribbits' (they are like ribs, but bits) in the microwave for a minute and a half, and when i opened the microwave door, it did look delicious. however, at that point, i realized i'd forgotten to follow the cooking suggestion of placing a paper towel over the plate -- my microwave looked something like a murder scene, with blood-like sauce splattered over every inch of the sides as if someone had been killed in my very kitchen.


tuesday june 19

today i had to renew my driver's license. for weeks, i'd been putting it off, primarily out of laziness, but secondarily because i was concerned about the new photograph that would serve as my primary identification for the next five years. when i finally went, i settled on a plain, non-committal white t-shirt and kept my hair relatively in check (though the brief gusts of wind during my walk into the building were worrisome). when the moment of truth finally came, however, i choked -- i was unable to force myself to smile naturally, and my attempts at doing so likely looked pained, like i'd just swallowed a disagreeable morsel of food. when i finally achieved my desired facial expression, i realized that the woman was calling me back, and that the photo had been taken two seconds earlier. i am not looking forward to receiving my new license in the mail.


monday june 18

today i had a dream which involved checking my e-mail. my e-mail inbox, in the dream, was full of e-mails from various friends, with even subject lines specified! before i could begin reading all of them, i woke up. inspired by my unconscious popularity, i checked my real-life e-mail and was crushed to find only spam messages.


sunday june 17

today i was blasting through level after level of super mario bros. for nes, about to enter another castle with an excess of lives, when the television screen suddenly started flashing green and my game abruptly came to an end. it hasn't functioned since, leaving me with a constantly growing sense of "what could have been."


saturday june 16

today i was telling a friend about the aforementioned magician that i'd encountered when, while we were discussing him, i spotted him walking towards us down the street. he passed by and stared us down moments later, leading me to believe that his appearance was not a coincidence, but rather real magic, and also that he looks a lot like snoop dogg.


friday june 15

today i was entertained by the antics of a magical david-blaine-in-the-making, one who had an impressive knack for producing the two of hearts after i made it 'my card,' while i waited to enter the alex p. keaton.


thursday june 14

today i spent extensive time listening to my last.fm radio station (as seen in this very site's sidebar), and constantly being surprised at how much i enjoyed it, despite the fact that its playlist was constructed exclusively from the songs i've listened to in the past.


wednesday june 13

today i ate out for dinner with my grandparents, and was so excited at the prospect of taking home leftovers that my final haul included half of my grandmother's dinner, a random loaf of garlic bread, and many many complimentary hard candies.


tuesday june 12

today i found out that my left big toe suffered a fracture 16 days ago.


monday june 11

today i watched the shoestring on my right shoe obliterate itself so rapidly that by the time i'd walked to dollarama to buy new laces, one end of the string more closely resembled the end of a straw broom than a shoelace.


sunday june 10

today i was standing in the store 'from mars' when i heard the tiny metallic clinking of something hitting the floor. i looked around for a second and assumed it was something unrelated to me and unimportant, and continued my conversation. minutes later, when i was about to leave the store and went to put on my sunglasses, i noticed that one lens had half fallen out, and was missing a small piece that held said lens in place. my search to find this piece proved futile, and nearly resulted in my playing accidental peeping tom on an unsuspecting customer in the fitting room.


saturday june 9

today i was kicked out of victoria park by two police officers at approximately 3:00 am.


friday june 8

today i saw a picture of a family friend, whose cottage i visited last summer, on the front page of the london free press, identified as the suspected shooter in a murder-suicide.


thursday june 7

today i was called via celluar telephone for the first time by two separate, entirely unrelated (or rather: unconnected) people who had each had my phone number for months.


wednesday june 6

today i was prompted by a restlessly and constantly moving insect in my bedroom to do a google search for the phrase: "do bugs sleep?"


tuesday june 5

today i visited home for the evening to eat dinner, do some laundry, and catch up with my family. while my laundry was finishing up, i channel-surfed on the digital cable box a little and, after 15 minutes of watching highlights from the 2006 u.s. poker championship, was struck by how much i missed having cable.


monday june 4

today i washed the dishes using cold water rather than warm, because it was so hot in my kitchen that i figured i couldn't handle the heat and ought to go for the more refreshing route instead.


sunday june 3

today i experienced such a debilitating case of 'playstation thumb' from excessive play of tony hawk's pro skater 2 that, by the evening, it was slightly painful, or at least uncomfortable, to perform even the simplest of tasks with my left hand.


saturday june 2

today i walked past a 20-something girl sunbathing topless in victoria park.


friday june 1

today i bought dinner at a tim horton's at a service centre along the highway to toronto. because i'd only brought $10 along with me, and didn't want to have to resort to any 'debiting,' i bought the cheapest sandwich possible, the $3.17 chicken salad, rather than the more expensive ham and swiss i really coveted.


thursday may 31

today i was walking downtown when i passed a woman in a parked car, talking on her cell phone. as i walked past, she yelled, in a voice equally menacing and hysterical: "YOU'RE LUCKY THAT I CAN'T JUMP THROUGH THIS FUCKING PHONE AND HIT YOU!"