today i went to shave my face and discovered that my electric razor had died -- though it was charged, nothing happened when i turned the switch to 'on'! this led me to wondering if i'd be lazy enough about the process of fixing this one or acquiring a new one to find out if i could actually grow a beard or not.
posted by luke at 11:52 AM
today i went to the mall to buy a pair of shoes. my only pair was falling apart to the point where i wasn't sure that they'd last through another rigorous workout (of which i have a lot). i often have trouble finding the right pair of shoes, factoring in price, size, and style, so i was bracing myself for a long, drawn-out process. then i bought the first pair i tried on in the first store i entered.
posted by luke at 12:37 PM
today i was walking home along the sidewalk when i spotted a squirrel in the grass nearby, crouched down and seemingly poised to pounce on something unsuspecting. as i walked closer, i kept expecting the squirrel to make his move, as squirrels are wont to do when passersby enter their generous personal bubbles. as i passed within feet of him though, i came to the sudden and sobering realization that the squirrel was not, in fact, positioned in that particular pose because he was prepared to pounce, but rather because he was dead.
posted by luke at 2:25 AM
today i was walking down my street when i happened to notice, out of the corner of my eye, someone staring at me from the second-floor window of a house on my left. i looked up, and saw not a person, but rather a pug dog, sitting at the window, staring. immediately when i looked his way, however, he turned away and nonchalantly pretended to be studying the inside of the window very intently, just like a real person would do (if caught staring).
posted by luke at 10:51 AM
today i decided to make some post-bar food upon arriving home from call the office. i put one of my 'ribbits' (they are like ribs, but bits) in the microwave for a minute and a half, and when i opened the microwave door, it did look delicious. however, at that point, i realized i'd forgotten to follow the cooking suggestion of placing a paper towel over the plate -- my microwave looked something like a murder scene, with blood-like sauce splattered over every inch of the sides as if someone had been killed in my very kitchen.
posted by luke at 10:50 AM
today i had to renew my driver's license. for weeks, i'd been putting it off, primarily out of laziness, but secondarily because i was concerned about the new photograph that would serve as my primary identification for the next five years. when i finally went, i settled on a plain, non-committal white t-shirt and kept my hair relatively in check (though the brief gusts of wind during my walk into the building were worrisome). when the moment of truth finally came, however, i choked -- i was unable to force myself to smile naturally, and my attempts at doing so likely looked pained, like i'd just swallowed a disagreeable morsel of food. when i finally achieved my desired facial expression, i realized that the woman was calling me back, and that the photo had been taken two seconds earlier. i am not looking forward to receiving my new license in the mail.
posted by luke at 9:00 AM
today i had a dream which involved checking my e-mail. my e-mail inbox, in the dream, was full of e-mails from various friends, with even subject lines specified! before i could begin reading all of them, i woke up. inspired by my unconscious popularity, i checked my real-life e-mail and was crushed to find only spam messages.
posted by luke at 10:39 AM
today i was blasting through level after level of super mario bros. for nes, about to enter another castle with an excess of lives, when the television screen suddenly started flashing green and my game abruptly came to an end. it hasn't functioned since, leaving me with a constantly growing sense of "what could have been."
posted by luke at 12:37 AM
today i was telling a friend about the aforementioned magician that i'd encountered when, while we were discussing him, i spotted him walking towards us down the street. he passed by and stared us down moments later, leading me to believe that his appearance was not a coincidence, but rather real magic, and also that he looks a lot like snoop dogg.
posted by luke at 10:23 AM
today i spent extensive time listening to my last.fm radio station (as seen in this very site's sidebar), and constantly being surprised at how much i enjoyed it, despite the fact that its playlist was constructed exclusively from the songs i've listened to in the past.
posted by luke at 12:43 PM
today i was standing in the store 'from mars' when i heard the tiny metallic clinking of something hitting the floor. i looked around for a second and assumed it was something unrelated to me and unimportant, and continued my conversation. minutes later, when i was about to leave the store and went to put on my sunglasses, i noticed that one lens had half fallen out, and was missing a small piece that held said lens in place. my search to find this piece proved futile, and nearly resulted in my playing accidental peeping tom on an unsuspecting customer in the fitting room.
posted by luke at 1:40 AM
today i visited home for the evening to eat dinner, do some laundry, and catch up with my family. while my laundry was finishing up, i channel-surfed on the digital cable box a little and, after 15 minutes of watching highlights from the 2006 u.s. poker championship, was struck by how much i missed having cable.
posted by luke at 11:20 AM
today i bought dinner at a tim horton's at a service centre along the highway to toronto. because i'd only brought $10 along with me, and didn't want to have to resort to any 'debiting,' i bought the cheapest sandwich possible, the $3.17 chicken salad, rather than the more expensive ham and swiss i really coveted.
posted by luke at 10:32 AM