saturday september 29

today i attempted to buy two beers at the bar. when i requested the first, i was informed that that particular brand was 'frozen' and made to order another brand. when i attempted to pay for the second, i was asked if i had any change smaller than a $20 bill. i did not. since the girl running the beer cart also did not, she reluctantly handed my money back to me and gave me the beer for free.


friday september 28

today i made probably the most frustrating phone call to a pizza place of my lifetime, during which my order-taker misunderstood literally every sentence i spoke, as if someone had dared him to feign a hearing problem over the course of the conversation. this led to my nearly ordering "two whole wheats" instead of "two panzerottis" and him nearly writing my name down as "paddins" rather than "adams."


thursday september 27

today i was again riding the 17-oxford west bus home. i sat down and immediately the man next to me asked me how i was doing. "i'm doing all right," i replied warily. but he was unsatisfied with this response. "how are you really doing!" he exclaimed, to which i replied: "still good!" before attempting to ignore him for the rest of my ride. this strategy worked for approximately five minutes, at which point i heard him mutter: "i believe!" i pretended not to notice, but seconds later, he turned to me and, deadly serious, asked: "do you believe?" unable to feign unawareness, i turned and said somewhat disinterestedly: "believe what?" to which he angrily repeated, "i said: do you believe?!" not quite comprehending the question, i hesitated a second, during which time he lost interest in our conversation and looked off in the other direction before exiting the bus shortly thereafter. it was not my most rewarding discussion of the day.


wednesday september 26

today i was on the 17-oxford west bus, just entering byron on my way home, when a girl sitting nearby asked me if we were approaching richmond street soon. struggling slightly to keep a straight face, i told her that richmond was, in fact, where i'd gotten on the bus, about 15 minutes back, and informed her how long it would take for the bus to arrive back at richmond heading in the other direction. i feel that my knowledge of the london streets is fairly extensive, and often, when asked for direction, i fail to properly show this off, and will think later of what i should have told the inquirer instead. in this case, however, i was thorough, specific, and, overall, very helpful. so when i got off at my stop a couple minutes later and cheerily said "good luck!" i was slightly perturbed by her uninterested and fairly ungrateful reply of: "yeah."


tuesday september 25

today i was phoned by a representative of liberal candidate chris bentley, requesting my vote. in an effort to cut the conversation short, i told him that, regrettably, i was not yet voting age. it was very effective.

monday september 24

today i listened to the long blondes song "you could have both" for approximately the 45th time, and noticed, for the first time, the lyrical subject matter of the song, which subsequently increased my like of it by about 50%.


sunday september 23

today i was informed that two random high school students will be living in my house for five days this coming week.


saturday september 22

today i was urged by various contributors to the band akron/family to strip down and join them on a slip 'n slide, at approximately 3:00 am in nine-degree weather.

friday september 21

today i missed the only band i really wanted to see during a day-long festival lineup because i couldn't tear myself away from a large pepperoni pizza to make the three-minute walk to the park.


thursday september 20

today i met a man who referred to himself as "billy balloon."


wednesday september 19

today i had carpet cleaners come to my house to take care of the entire upper floor. this floor is pretty much where i spend most of my at-home hours, so, left with little else to do while the carpets were cleaned and dried, i played basketball for nearly two hours and felt, by the end, like i was on the verge of passing out from exhaustion.


tuesday september 18

today i completed a search that had probably spanned years (off and on, of course), when i discovered the title of, and downloaded, oft-used sports arena anthem "kernkraft 400" by zombie nation. after excitedly listening to it twice, i realized that the only good part of the song was the main riff that is always played at these sporting events, and the song itself was, in fact, not very good at all. i don't anticipate many future listens.


monday september 17

today i pulled on my jeans when i was getting dressed in the morning, and noticed that they seemed a bit unusual. they had just come out of the laundry, so i assumed that i was just not used to them in their un-worn-in state, and went about my business. later in the day, i reached into my pockets, noticed they felt entirely unnatural (i know my jean pockets very well), and realized that i was, in fact, wearing my brother's pants.

sunday september 16

today i was kept awake for nearly an hour and a half by a cat who seemed to intuitively know exactly when i was about to fall asleep and how much noise to make to prevent this from happening.


saturday september 15

today i finished downloading a season of a tv show that had been slowly plodding along on my computer for the previous six days. feeling some sort of sense of achievement for its finally finishing, i vowed to make it last, perhaps watching an episode a day, then promptly watched nine episodes by the end of the night.


friday september 14

today i mulled taking up smoking because i suspect it would make me look very cool. however, in the end, the fact that i have very little willpower and money, making a potential addiction likely and devastating, won out. also it's apparently unhealthy.


thursday september 13

today i went to campus. i'd been a little bummed that, given my part-time student status this year, i was there very rarely and wouldn't get a chance to run into anyone i knew, so today i arrived approximately 20 or 25 minutes before my class started, and walked towards the ucc, to see if i'd see any friendly faces. within a span of, literally, 60 seconds, i saw three separate friends and had my on-campus popularity reaffirmed.


wednesday september 12

today i traveled downtown to visit a couple of second-hand bookstores, aiming to find copies of novels i'd require for class this year. upon arriving at my first store and perusing the selection briefly, it occurred to me that it would be significantly cheaper to just borrow the books from the library instead. so i walked over to the library and searched their catalogue to ensure that all the books were there, then went home without signing any out. ultimately, the entire endeavour could've easily been completed in five minutes at home.


tuesday september 11

today i made two new buddies. new friend #1 confided in me that he was worried he was going to get his ass kicked by a guy across the bar! new friend #2 was that guy, who confided that he really wanted to kick new friend #1's ass, but was worried about his potential affiliation with hell's angels. tough break!!


monday september 10

today i opened my family's food closet and noticed that the recently added storage 'tub' that houses the dog food which our pet consumes had been filled to near the top. confronted by this massive amount of kibbles, the first thing i thought of was how sad it would be if our dog died in the near future -- not merely for the loss of whatever companionship she may provide, but because all that dog food, bought and paid for, would sit in our closet as a reminder of the death, and with no one to eat it unless we got real desperate.


sunday september 9

today i ate a late lunch and early dinner and still ate an entire 'medium' pizza for dinner.


saturday september 8

today i went to the park and heard nearly an hour's worth of karaoke sung by various guests of a nearby backyard party, backed by a live country band.


friday september 7

today i dreamed that i was engaged in a hand-to-hand fight to the death with an unknown combatant. twice i bit his face.


thursday september 6

today i left for campus, for my first class of the year. since i am a part-time student this year, and only taking one class this semester, i was optimistic about attending every class, doing every reading, and so on. this optimism promptly turned into my missing a bus, arriving to class 12 minutes late, having the professor joke "class dismissed!" as i walked in the door, then having the class actually dismissed approximately two minutes later.


wednesday september 5

today i played tennis with my father. during one particularly good point, i approached one of his returns, prepared to smash a winning forehand down the line. however, when i went to make contact, a combination of my loose grip on the racket, the amount of sweat that had no doubt accumulated on the handle, and the odd angle at which i connected with the ball saw my racket go flying out of my hand, off our court entirely, and land a few feet away from an elderly woman attempting to make a return on the adjacent court. fortunately, the ball itself didn't make it over the net, or i would have had one difficult return on my hands.


tuesday september 4

today i drove my mother's car for the first time. the drive itself was mildly eventful, as i spent nearly half the trip attempting to properly adjust my seat, the windows, and the stereo system. however it wasn't until i reached my destination that my entire lack of knowledge about the car truly shone through. i parked in a driveway, mere feet from an onlooking girl, who sneaked not-so-subtle glances as i struggled attempting to close all the windows and shut down the car. when i went to take the key out of the ignition, it wouldn't come. i pulled and twisted, almost starting the car again once, but it was stuck. with the girl still looking on, i rummaged around the car seat with one hand for show, feigning a search for some item that i needed to bring with me, while with the other hand i fiddled with the key. finally, with some relief, i was able to wriggle the key free from the icy grasp of the ignition and, attempting to give the impression that i was leaving the car at my leisure, head for the porch next to where the onlooker still sat. as i handled my key, though, intending to lock the car, i realized that this key did not, in fact, come with a handy auto-lock button, and that i'd have to return to the car and lock it from the inside. i briefly considered pretending to have forgotten something that i needed in the car, but ultimately just swallowed my pride and, after finally locating the 'lock' button on the inside of the door, was done with the car for the evening. all in all, an embarrassing two minutes.


monday september 3

today i rode to toronto and back in the company of my grandparents and our chauffeur. for the duration of the trip, the number of kilometers that we traveled was greater than the number of words spoken during the ride.


sunday september 2

today i moved out of my summer home and, on my way out, was filled with the desire to express my sadness about leaving in a goodbye moment. unable to express this emotion to the house itself, i said goodbye to my roommate as if i might never see her again, when in actuality, we will probably see one another within 48 hours, and many many times after.

saturday september 1

today i drank a shared beer with a friend so fast that it made me feel like we were alcohol's equivalent of takeru kobayashi and joey chestnut sharing a hot dog.


friday august 31

today i went out to a bar in the evening, then came back to my house and slept, and promptly dreamed about the same process: going to a bar and then the aftermath and morning after. the repetition was so similar that when i awoke i had difficulty distinguishing between the two scenarios, except that in the latter, i had conversations with charisma carpenter and my grandfather, and cut through canada's wonderland on the walk home.