wednesday december 30

today i attended a matinee showing of invictus. i was sitting beside an elderly couple, and the husband seemed to have a hard time understanding the south african accents employed in the film. after each piece of dialogue that drew chuckles from the audience, he asked his wife what was said, and she repeated the line for him. i can only assume that, in the case of any line that DIDN'T produce laughs, he either inexplicably heard them fine, or just didn't want to force his wife to repeat EVERYTHING, and figured that the funniest lines were the most crucial ones to hear.

tuesday december 29

today i was sitting in my room at about 4:25 pm, debating whether or not to take a nap before my 6:00 pm work shift. i usually prefer my naps to at least last an hour, preferably 90 minutes. because i work from home though, i'd still be able to squeeze that much sleep in, so i was leaning toward going for it. at that moment, i got a text from my roommate, saying that she'd be home in a half-hour and would need a hand bringing things into the house. with only a half-hour until then, and not quite an hour after that, before my shift, this made my decision easier: i didn't nap.


monday december 28

today i got a ride to toronto from london in a van that some friends had rented for the week. when i got into the van, i didn't close the door properly, but didn't realize it at first and couldn't fix it because of the childproof-lock feature. the end result was us making the two-hour drive to toronto with the door slightly ajar, which didn't cause any problems but also seemed like it probably shouldn't be done.


sunday december 27

today i spent the day watching football with a friend who i was facing in the championship game of one of my fantasy football leagues. it was the first time i'd ever been able to sweat out a championship in person with my competitor, but the process was a bit anticlimactic compared to the action depicted in, say, the league. although i was happy about winning, i was hoping to do it in more dramatic fashion than just slowly pulling away until it became clear that my score was out of his reach.


saturday december 26

today i was assigned control of the television remote in a room with various relatives while we waited for christmas dinner to be served. with no sports on tv, unsure of what would have the broadest appeal, i finally settled on exactly what i'd choose if i were at my house: reruns of the office. i'm still not entirely sure that my grandpa was as receptive to the choice as my roommates and friends would have been.

friday december 25

today i went downstairs to, as usual, wrap the last of my christmas gifts for my relatives at the very last minute. when i arrived downstairs, i found that my mom had noticed them left out and already wrapped them, thinking i'd forgotten to do it. thanks mom!! the fewer wrapping-paper corners i fold, the better.


thursday december 24

today i worked a nine-hour shift without a break, marking the only day all year where i was working harder than the majority of the north american public.

wednesday december 23

today i had a dream in which approximately a dozen of my friends were arrested in a crystal meth sting. i escaped in the nick of time, when i was tipped off by the code word, "godiva."


tuesday december 22

today i went to the dentist for the first time since march of 2008. although dentist trips are usually rather unpleasant, this one was particularly brutal, given the layoff. for a half-hour, it felt like the hygienist was deliberately poking sharp objects into my gums, with no other objective. by the 20-minute mark, the overwhelming thought running through my head was: "i could never stand up to torture." i wanted to tell her everything i knew.

monday december 21

today i went to jewel of india for dinner with a friend. when we arrived, we were the only customers in the restaurant, which lasted for about 5-10 minutes, before a few more parties arrived. although the silence was a little off-putting at the start, i actually was disappointed when more people arrived, since we'd been enjoying a level of personal service i'd never experienced at a restaurant before.

sunday december 20

today i realized, by the time the second backhanded joke occurred, that my parents were unaccustomed to my usual sunday routine of watching football, staying in my pajamas and not showering all day.

saturday december 19

today i visited a friend at her house. for some reason, i was concerned about the presence of a driveway -- i had never noticed one before, and couldn't even remember one being there, but she assured me there was. when i drove up to her house, i turned into where i thought the driveway was, and promptly rammed into the curb. when i eventually parked in what, to the best of my knowledge, was the driveway, i was still unconvinced that i wasn't parked in a walkway, or on the lawn.


friday december 18

today i stood in line for approximately 20 minutes at the greyhound station, waiting to buy my bus ticket home. the woman standing in line behind me happened to be the chattiest person in the entire crowd. at one point, she informed me that the recorded voice informing people of a bus to new york city had gotten that "new dance song about new york" stuck in her head (she was referring to "empire state of mind"). she went on to opine that at least it was better than "thong song", which prompted her to exclaim "oh no, now i have it stuck in my head!" and laugh uproariously.

thursday december 17

today i exchanged gifts with my roommates before we went our separate ways for the holidays. the gifts were hugs.

wednesday december 16

today i went to the lcbo. my roommate had informed me that there were a lot of "attractive young girls" working there recently, presumably as seasonal staff. curious to find out for myself if this was true, i decided to buy a couple of beers. when i went to check out, there were two lines open -- one manned by the curmudgeony old broad who is always working there, and the other manned by one of these "attractive young girls." unfortunately, the latter line was two people deep, while the former had just cleared out entirely. i went to the old broad, as usual.

tuesday december 15

today i was upstairs while my roommate had an at-home interview for youth assisting youth. in order to make a good impression, we'd cleaned the house and moved the empties from our party out of sight. however, once the interview was underway, i was unsure of how to act. should i also stay out of sight the whole time? should i stroll by and look surprised at the company, then act really charming upon being introduced? and most importantly, would it be inappropriate to blast the new gucci mane album from my room?

monday december 14

today i played in my last dodgeball game of the season. the night started out with each of the two teams getting testy and agitated. at one point, before i realized a game had started, a player from the other team whipped a ball across the gym and hit me in the face with it while i was looking the other way. overcome with a rage i hadn't felt in months, i picked up the ball and threw it back at him as hard as i could, hitting him in the chest and getting him out. the game ultimately ended up being my best-played of the year, making me wonder if it'd be possible to channel that rage into dodgeball every single week.

sunday december 13

today i worked my usual 10am-2pm shift at mlb trade rumors. as i always do, at 1:00, i moved downstairs to the couch in front of the tv, so i could watch football while i did my last hour of work. generally, news has slowed by then and i only need to update a post with another link or two. however, in this case, multiple signings happened between 1:00 and 2:00, leaving me scrambling to try to get the news up as soon as possible and distracting me entirely from the football games on tv.


saturday december 12

today i woke up and surveyed the aftermath of the house party we'd had the night before. stains, empties, and dishes were strewn everywhere throughout the house. however, what distressed me most wasn't anything that had been spilled or broken, but rather the fact that my half-bottle of cherry dr. pepper was missing from the fridge.

friday december 11

today i was tasked with a grocery shopping list, in preparation for a party that my roommate and i were hosting in the evening. the list included six items, none of which i'd ever bought in a grocery store before. it wasn't until i'd been in the store nearly 20 minutes that i found them all.


thursday december 10

today i went to the laundromat to do a load of laundry. when i arrived, all of my usual washing machines (the regular size) were in use, leaving me to use a more expensive, double-size one. while the extra two quarters i had to pay bothered me a little, more problematic was attempting to remember how to operate the double-size machines. i ended up getting my detergent and clothes in fine, but when i went to start the machine, my clothes remained in place. i looked at the machine for about a half-minute, trying to figure out what i'd done wrong, until finally i fiddled with the door handle and realized i hadn't locked it in place properly. the rest of the cycle went off without a hitch.

wednesday december 9

today i worked a 1am-9am shift. over the course of the night, the temperature in my room slowly dropped, until i was pretty much an ice cube by 9:00. eager to blame the inconsistent heat in my house, it wasn't until the afternoon that i noticed neither of the vents in my room were open properly. with these two vents open and having borrowed my roommate's space heater, i warmed up my room so much that by the time i went to bed, i was sitting at my computer in short sleeves and shorts and was still sweating. it felt like goldilocks without the "just right" step.


tuesday december 8

today i was looking back through my msn conversation history with a friend, trying to find a url that had been shared in a monday conversation. while reading our discussion, i noticed that i'd made a blatant typo while telling a story, essentially butchering the point of the anecdote entirely. although the mistake drove me crazy and made me want to clarify my meaning to her, i ended up not saying anything. i figured that revealing i was re-reading the log would make me seem a bit obsessive, as if i was attempting to relive our conversation. still, the miscommunication nags at me.

monday december 7

today i played an amazing game of dodgeball. i made at least one catch in nearly every game i played, was often on the floor at the end of wins, and helped my team win in a blowout, 24-11. however, in the brief, "fun" game at the end of the night when everyone switches sides, my aim totally left me. i ended up hitting two of my teammates in the face with throws and generally marred the memory of my performance in the games that actually counted.


sunday december 6

today i experienced my second straight day of someone else having to order my food for me in restaurants, since i felt too self-conscious speaking english at french-speaking places with french menus.

saturday december 5

today i went to montreal and stayed with a friend. shortly after i arrived at her place, i excused myself to use the bathroom. she pointed me in the right direction, then vaguely instructed: ""be careful when you flush the toilet... you'll see."

friday december 4

today i went out to eat at utopia with my roommates. i ordered a beer with dinner and had drank a good chunk of it by the time our food arrived. given utopia's large portions, this meant nursing the rest while i ate my dinner. as i prepared to finish up my food, i saved one last sip to wash the last bite down. this turned out to be a problem for the wait staff there. first, our waitress came by and grabbed it, took three steps, then realized there was a sip left. she brought it back to me and apologized, much to my relief. however, two minutes later, another server came by and cleared it before i'd had a chance to drink it. apparently it was really playing with fire, leaving that barely noticeable final sip at the bottom of the glass.

thursday december 3

today i had a terrifyingly intense dream, in which i visited my grandmother's house. the grandmother i expected to be there was nowhere to be found, but my OTHER grandmother was there. unfortunately, she seemed quite insane, acting strangely and babbling menacingly. finally, suspicious, i went up to my grandmother's bedroom (the one that was supposed to live there) and found her dead, having been killed by my other grandma. i woke up in a sweat with my heart racing, wondering what was wrong with my subconscious.

wednesday december 2

today i saw a poster near my house soliciting help to find a lost cat named "turkey."

tuesday december 1

today i set up a meeting time on skype with my parents. before the appointed time, i made a list of discussion topics to refer to during the conversation, since normally when i catch up with them, i struggle to think of life updates. it was a huge success -- our conversation lasted twice as long as normal!

monday november 30

today i earned my first dodgeball win of my brief career, a 12-7 victory. it was our team's seventh game of the season.