monday june 29

today i returned from the laundromat and, a couple minutes later, heard our doorbell ring. i walked down the stairs and to the door, only to find no one there. knowing that my roommate and a couple other people had been sitting on our second floor balcony, i walked back upstairs and outside. hoping to nail someone, i asked them if they'd seen anyone walk up to our door and then leave in a rush; no dice. this failure to identify a potential nicky nine doors participant, even with watchful eyes from above, bothered me for the next hour or so.

sunday june 28

today i was watching a season one episode of the o.c. for approximately the 7th or 8th time. however, with this viewing, i noticed an allusion i never had before, to the book the amazing adventures of kavalier and clay, which i'm currently reading. the fact that i could still appreciate new aspects of the show made me feel slightly less guilty and unproductive about watching it as much as i had.


saturday june 27

today i went to the nearby metro to buy groceries. in the span of the 90 seconds or so that it took me to check out, the cashier referred to me as "darling," "dear," and "sweetheart" at least twice each, and confided that she hadn't been sleeping well since "the accident."

friday june 26

today i was at a bbq when the subject of the girlfriend experience, the new steven soderbergh film starring sasha grey, came up. i jumped in and offered an anecdote about how grey had appeared on an episode of oprah. immediately, i felt self-conscious, less about knowing the goings-on of a porn star and more about knowing details about an episode of oprah. later in the night, when i got home, i looked up the clip on youtube to verify what i'd said about it. i was weirdly relieved to see that i'd mistaken oprah for tyra, and wasn't nearly the expert on daytime talk shows that i'd seemed.

thursday june 25

today i watched the nba draft on television until the toronto raptors made their pick at #9 overall: demar derozan. when interviewing derozan, espn's mark jones, who hadn't offered any commentary on any of the other teams' cities to this point, opined at the end of the interview: "you're going to love toronto's transit system. their streetcars are very, very efficient." while this declaration struck me as questionable, what was more odd about the comment was the implication that an nba player would spend any time in toronto riding the streetcar around.

wednesday june 24

today i turned the fan in my bedroom off for the first time in days; i was up early watching an episode of the shield and didn't want to have to crank up my volume to hear it over the noise of the fan right behind me. by the time the 45-minute episode finished, my room had gotten so hot that i was drenched in sweat from doing nothing more than sitting in my chair and looking at my computer screen.

tuesday june 23

today i contributed, in small part, to the lcbo's most successful business day ever. while the fear of impending strike was the main reason for my purchase, being able to take part in a new record makes me feel like i was a part of something special.


monday june 22

today i finally went to an ice cream shop that i'd been meaning to visit for weeks. when i got there and went to place my order, i realized that i was much more in the mood for a smoothie than ice cream. i ended up ordering a smoothie, despite the fact that the entire purpose of the trip was supposed to be to taste their ice cream.

sunday june 21

today i saw the gza in yonge dundas square. towards the end of his set, some rough-looking dudes walked by me talking about how someone "got shanked." while i didn't see anything happen, the bevy of police cars parked on the corner after the set lent credence to this claim, which i confirmed later in the night.

saturday june 20

today i had two friends crashing at my place for the night. during the day, i parted ways with them early. when they returned to my place in the evening, they had replaced the clothes that they'd been wearing earlier in the day with matching red track suits that made them look like ben stiller's family in the royal tenenbaums (though less jewish).


friday june 19

today i decided that i couldn't put off laundry anymore and, despite my reluctance about doing laundry on a friday night, figured it was time to get it done. when i came back to the laundromat to move my clothes from the washer to the dryer, i forgot to bring my laundry bag (to throw the line-dry items in) back with me. this resulted in my carrying wet clothes in my hands down bloor street on a bustling toronto friday night.

thursday june 18

today i saw an advertisement on the subway promoting vegetarianism. it contrasted photos of a dog and a cow (equally sized) and asked: "why LOVE one and EAT the other?" it then went on to list all the good qualities of cows, including: "cows are smart and curious animals who enjoy intellectual challenges and sometimes even jump with excitement upon solving a problem." this resulted less in my wanting to avoid eating meat and more in my imagining cows doing sudokus and jumping up and down when they complete the puzzle.


wednesday june 17

today i went and saw my first movie in a toronto theatre since moving here. it was my 233rd day living in the city.

tuesday june 16

today i was sitting on campus with my laptop in my lap when a pair of middle-aged women walked by me, immersed in conversation. suddenly, one of the women cut herself short and directed her attention to me. "you know you shouldn't sit with it like that," she said, gesturing at my laptop. "electromagnetic waves." i thanked her for the tip and shifted my weight as if i was going to move the laptop somewhere else. when she walked off, i returned it to its original spot, electromagnetic waves be damned. an example of the kind of danger i look in the eye on a daily basis.


monday june 15

today i worked on a project at school in the afternoon. the project is due tomorrow morning, and requires an on-campus studio to finish, but when 6:15 rolled around, i felt uncomfortable being at school so late, and decided to head home, despite not yet being finished.


sunday june 14

today i directed two friends to college street, to find post-bar food. while they were there, they were hit on by the guitarist from default, using perhaps the worst pickup line ever conceived: "i'm in the band default."

saturday june 13

today i experienced, for the first time, what it feels like to be punched in the face. while it wasn't as strong a blow as i would've liked, it was enough to cross it off my 'things to do before i die' list.

friday june 12

today i participated in a mock interview in my effective speaking class, in which i was grilled about my sex life. not feeling like talking about my actual sex life in front of my class, i created a fictional character and answered each question as this hypothetical interviewee would. it was only later that i realized, despite my flippant tone and outrageous answers, most of the class had no idea i was doing this, raising questions about some of my personal decisions.


thursday june 11

today i was sitting on the subway at the lansdowne station when i noticed that one of the "LANSDOWNE" signs on the wall had a small "of the lost" scribbled in black marker after it. thinking about it, i had no idea if this was the result of some kid having fun with graffiti, or if it was subtle marketing for the new will ferrell vehicle.

wednesday june 10

today i received an e-mail from the instructor of one of my classes. i had missed his class earlier in the week and sent him an e-mail explaining why. later, i heard from classmates that the class had been especially harsh, as he laid into many people's recorded assignments; there were even a few tears. when i got his e-mail, it read as follows: "attached are my notes and marks on your two assignments. this is being e mailed because you weren't in class on tuesday. good work!" upon seeing that there was nothing attached to the e-mail, my first reaction was to assume that he'd just forgotten to attach the file. the story of the in-class criticism, though, made me slightly worried that my assignment fell so short of his standards that the entire e-mail was a sarcastic jab at how bad it was, and that his not attaching any files was the cruel punchline, suggesting a mark of 0.

tuesday june 9

today i went through my usual morning routine, showering, eating, and eventually brushing my teeth before leaving for school. when i finally brushed my teeth, it was the first time i'd really looked in a mirror all morning. shockingly, my entire face was covered in a peeling sunburn, making me look like some sort of deformed freak. i found some skin lotion and managed to minimize the damage on my forehead and nose, allowing myself to feel comfortable about leaving the house. however, it left me slightly worried about coming that close to taking off for a full day on campus without once looking at the image i would be presenting to the world all day, and made me rededicate my commitment to mirrors in the morning.

monday june 8

today i returned to toronto after a weekend in london. within 15 or 20 seconds of seeing my roommate, i noticed that her hair was a slightly different colour and asked about it. this marked the first time in approximately the last 38 opportunities i've had to observe a difference in a girl's hair to actually notice and acknowledge it.


sunday june 7

today i went to call the office for retro night. though it was fairly busy, it wasn't overwhelmingly packed like on sundays before holiday mondays. however, the wait at the bars was still painfully slow. at one point i was convinced that the bartender that i had to wait for three times skipped over me intentionally every single time, one time getting my order wrong. just when i thought i was the only one being persecuted, the guy next to me commented sarcastically, "great service here, huh?" and added "this girl [the bartender] is awful." although the wait was still irritating, the fact that i was able to complain about it and bash her with someone else made me feel like i was winning.

saturday june 6

today i attended a bonfire at a friend's place. although the bonfire itself was enjoyable, upon returning home, i of course realized how strong the bonfire smell being emitted from my clothes was. since it was nearly 4:00 am and starting a load of laundry wasn't exactly an option, i stripped them all off and threw them in a rarely-frequented room of the house. this room acted as a sort of quarantine, to avoid having the rest of my life smell like bonfire. it sort of worked.

friday june 5

today i stopped to really think, for the first time, how bizarre it is that many organizations and causes refer to their pamphlets and brochures as "literature."


thursday june 4

today i was walking through the kipling subway station towards my bus outside when i noticed that a girl standing at one of the stops was blatantly staring at the slogan on my t-shirt, reading what it said. the obviousness of her eyeline sort of surprised me, and briefly made me sympathize, or at least identify, with girls who constantly have to deal with guys staring at their chests.


wednesday june 3

today i was sitting in a window seat in the subway when a woman entered and sat down in the seat next to me. having not expected her to sit there and preferring as little physical contact as possible in the subway, i hadn't properly positioned myself. as she sat down, i shifted my weight rather obviously towards the window, moving around for a second or two to keep my distance and get comfortable. it wasn't until she looked over at me and apologetically said "sorry" that i realized she was sort of overweight and likely self-conscious about it. my "oh it's fine!!" reply was probably a little too enthusiastic in an attempt to alleviate my guilt.

tuesday june 2

today i talked on the phone to a friend who said that she'd be over in about five minutes to hang out; i was intending to make a sandwich before the phone call. after getting off the phone, rather than taking my time and eating after she arrived, i quickly made the sandwich and scarfed it down in about a minute and a half -- the bread i'd bought had been frequently sticking to the roof of my mouth, making eating it a more difficult task than normal and something i didn't want to do in front of anyone.


monday june 1

today i went to the toronto airport to meet my brother, who was arriving home after a year-long exchange in france. my mother had prepared a large banner that read "welcome home jordan," but holding it up became an issue; there would be little to no reaction time between when he would round the corner into our 'arrivals' area and when he'd see us, but there was also no way of knowing when exactly that would happen. this meant potentially holding the sign up to no one for 20 minutes, or, conversely, holding it down at our sides when he arrived. we ultimately elected for the latter, quickly jerking it upward when he eventually did show up.

sunday may 31

today i decided that my lone outing of the day would be an evening trip to the grocery store. when the time came to go, i remembered my grocery shopping trip a week ago on sunday evening, when the produce selection had been seriously lacking, presumably waiting to be restocked for monday morning. this was enough to dissuade me from making the grocery trip and ultimately keep me from leaving my house for the entire day.