sunday october 19

today i went to opera bob's to watch some of the late-afternoon football games, and ending up sitting at the bar next to a hardcore cowboys fan, who was wearing a marion barber uniform and had his cowboys jacket draped over his seat. because we were both alone and he was the sort of guy who yelled a lot of things at the tv, he frequently glanced over at me as if seeking some sort of reaction or response to his comments. while i acknowledged him with a chuckle or a comment of my own in a few instances just to be polite, the one time i simply couldn't do it was when he laughed out loud at a commercial for the big bang theory and then looked over to see if i was laughing too. i was not.


saturday october 18

today i went to the bank and when i approached the teller he asked how i was doing. "not bad, how about you?" i asked, instinctively. "i'm good, except my hair keeps getting in my eyes," he replied, dramatically flipping it off his face. "i need some sort of mousse or something." i know - or at least strongly suspect - that td encourages its tellers to engage in small talk with the customers, but i really feel like this guy should probably stick to just asking me about my day or the weather rather than ad-libbing like that.


friday october 17

today i was messaging back and forth with a friend and in the span of a half-hour started separate messages by saying "i was just watching some wobble videos on youtube" and "i was just thinking about the mcrib," which in retrospect was probably a pretty genuine and harrowing glimpse into my fridays.

thursday october 16

today i changed the light bulb in my bedroom and when i went to put the light fixture back over it, i noticed for the first time how flimsily held up it is. although i was pretty confident that i tightened everything sufficiently and it won't come crashing down from the ceiling anytime soon, it made me wonder whether i'd be better off having the fixture right over my bed, where it could fall down on top of me when i'm sleeping, or beside my bed, where it'd be more likely to break into a thousand pieces. my aversion to cleaning up had me leaning toward the former.

wednesday october 15

today i ordered a pizza from domino's and got a bit nervous when i noticed that the post-ordering screen sat at this stage for the following 20 minutes:

i ultimately convinced myself that it was much more plausible they were forgetting to update the status of my order rather than forgetting about the order entirely, and i was eventually proven right. still, i've become accustomed to a certain lifestyle, domino's, don't take that away from me now.

tuesday october 14

today i went to bar neon with my book club for our latest meeting. when things were winding down and i was settling up my tab, i spoke to the bartender, who was extremely impressed that our club was advanced enough to be discussing multiple books in the same meeting. it was with some regret that i had to ruin that perception by pointing out that actually some of us just had different-looking copies of the same book.


monday october 13

today i headed back to toronto from belleville after thanksgiving weekend, and was on the greyhound bus with a handful of people who hadn’t bought tickets in advance and needed to pick them up at the trenton station. this resulted in a bit of a delay, and once we finally got going again, the bus driver got on the speaker and threw some terrific shade at the passengers that held us up.

"it takes a while to buy tickets at trenton," she said flatly. "you can buy them online ahead of time. i’m sure your fellow passengers would appreciate that. we’re running 20 minutes late now. we’re supposed to get in at 11:25, but that probably won’t happen. i’ll try to make up some time on the highway but it was busy coming the other way. we’ll see."

sunday october 12

today i had a dream in which a room full of people sang smash mouth’s "all star" at me when i left a party. it’s the first time i can recall waking up laughing.

saturday october 11

today i happened to mention the website sporcle in passing to my family after dinner, and within 15 minutes, my brother and both parents were all on their laptops frantically trying to complete random quizzes and asking me things like "what's one of the two european countries with a double eagle in the center of its flag?"


friday october 10

today i went to see charli xcx at the hoxton. it was an all-ages show, and i was thrilled to see multiple parents in the building, including one mom in attendance with her daughter, and one dad checking at the door to see when charli’s set would be ending. as i watched the show, i assumed people all around me were getting texts like "hi sweetie, r u ready for me to pick u up from charlie yet? hope your 1st show’s going great!!! love u. mom."

thursday october 9

today i feel obligated to mention that yesterday’s post was my 2000th at one thing i did today. that’s a lot of days of doing things. thanks for sticking with me.

wednesday october 8

today i went to duffy’s for the maple leafs’ home opener, and while i was satisfied with the service through the first couple periods, things really fell apart after i finished a beer with a couple minutes left in the second. the server didn’t come back to ask if i wanted another one until there were nine minutes left in the third period, which must have been about a half-hour in real time later. and even though i answered "yes" at that point, i did not see that beer before the game ended. in fact, when i got my bill after the game, she showed no indication that she’d even been considering bringing that beer at any point.

tuesday october 7

today i watched a couple with six tequila shots in front of them try to order more and get denied service. why did they need so many in front of them at once? some sort of drinking competition? just wanted to get the night's entire orders out of the way at once? were they making some sort of map and needed the shots to represent certain landmarks? i dunno, didn't ask.


monday october 6

today i was at walmart and picked up some bug spray. i'd absent-mindedly noticed a bug problem outside the front door of my apartment a few days ago - all sorts of tiny little insects gathered around the window area of the door - and thought "i should get some bug spray for that." i was feeling pretty accomplished at having followed through on this thought, until i got home and realized that actually all the insects that had collected on my door were already dead, and what i really needed wasn't something that would kill them, but something that i could remove them with. maybe just a duster or rag or something like that.

sunday october 5

today i let a friend borrow my headphones, and as she was putting them on, i helpfully offered, "oh, i think they actually go the other way." she looked down at them and replied, "what? no, this side says right," and gestured to a tiny little "r" on the inside of the earphone. "oh yeah, my bad," i said, making a gesture that suggested i got confused because we were facing each other and my perception was reversed, since it was too embarrassing to acknowledge that i'd actually been wearing them backwards for the last year.

saturday october 4

today i was walking down a street in montreal that was under construction. because of the construction, cyclists and pedestrians had to share a narrow walkway at one point, and while i was walking through that section, a cyclist came up behind me wanting to pass by. i slid out of the way, and she called "merci beaucoup!" as she rode away, which made me totally blank on how to respond to such a phrase in french. rather than replying in english, or taking a second to think of "de rien" or whatever, i instead let out a weird grunting noise that i hoped would convey "no problem." i can't speak french and that's what this blog is about now.


friday october 3

today i ordered some take-out tacos at el rey del taco in montreal. after the person taking our order told my friends their prices in english, she said mine in french, despite the fact that i’d shown no sign i could speak french (i’d even had to point at what i wanted on the menu rather than attempting to pronounce it). i guess i look pretty quebecois, or else she just wanted to test me.

thursday october 2

today i texted my friend at the constantines show at danforth music hall to let her know i was standing near the beer stand, except instead of typing “beer stand” i actually wrote “beef stand,” which led my imagination down a whole new path.


wednesday october 1

today i went to the nearby laundromat to do a load of laundry. it’s only the third time i’ve been there, so i’m still getting the lay of the land, and wasn’t sure how late it closed. the sign there seemed to indicate that it was open until 10:00 though, so after i finished washing my clothes at about 9:00, i threw them in the dryer. five minutes later, the old lady who runs the place walked up to me and we had a very disjointed conversation (she doesn’t speak english well), the upshot of which was this: actually, it closes at 9:00. but because i’d invested a bunch of quarters in the dryer already, she’d just lock the door, turn off most of the lights, and let me wait there until my clothes were dry, at which point she’d come back and let me out. this was very nice of her and ended up working out perfectly fine (though my guilt was palpable as we stood there watching the my clothes go round during the last two minutes of the dryer cycle). still, for a few minutes there while i sat in the dark, i thought i might’ve misinterpreted what she meant and ended up in a locked-in-the-mall-overnight style scenario, albeit in a much smaller and more boring place.

tuesday september 30

today i made a typo in the security question while e-transferring my rent to my landlord. it was a minor enough error that she could still understand the question and answer it correctly, but i still felt dumb about it, and went back in to update it and make sure it was accurate for next time. there are hundreds of dollars at stake here.

monday september 29

today i was doing some pushups and got distracted staring down at the new tattoo on my arm, admiring how hard i looked, like i should be in prison or in a sons of anarchy-esque motorcycle gang.

sunday september 28

today i ordered a round of crunchy nacho cheese sticks as part of a "basket bites" smorgasbord with three friends at the duke of kent. when i made my choice, the reactions around the table seemed skeptical, in an "okay, you do you" sort of way. when the cheese sticks arrived though, everyone had one and was equally surprised and impressed by how amazing they tasted, to the point where it felt as if my value as a human was being reevaluated in a more positive light based on my order.

saturday september 27

today i was walking down bloor street when i thought i saw a guy walking toward me tell a girl walking about 20 feet in front of me to "smile." this is a pet peeve of mine, and it annoyed me enough that i wanted to say something about it, but i was also far enough away that i wasn’t 100% sure that was what had actually happened — before i could decide how confident i was that i’d just witnessed street harassment, the guy was already by me. for the next five minutes or so, i continued to walk down bloor behind the girl, thinking maybe i should say something to her, but it seemed like a lose-lose proposition — even if i'd accurately assessed the situation, the last thing she'd probably want is another random guy coming up and saying something to her, even if it was just a well-intentioned "that dude's a jerk."