saturday march 28

today i was taking the subway home late at night and overheard a 39-year-old man hitting on a woman that was probably twice his age. it seemed less threatening and less uncomfortable than you’d expect, with him mostly just telling her how beautiful she was; at one point, he sang her a song for 20 seconds or so. the best part of the exchange came when he said, "a beautiful lady like you, where’s your husband?" — this question would have come off a little creepy and invasive in most situations, but she didn't miss a beat, replying, "one’s dead, one’s divorced, and one’s demented."

friday march 27

today i watched it follows at scotiabank theatre, and sat next to a man who appeared to have had-it-up-to-here with horror movie cliches. although the film mostly avoided the really overplayed moments you'd expect from the genre, there were a couple scenes where the protagonist slowly inches toward where the danger probably is, and this guy was not having it, throwing his hands up in the air and making exasperated noises as each scene played out.

thursday march 26

today i watched part of a video interview between barack obama and david simon, then let the rest of the conversation play while i started making dinner. for whatever reason, the youtube video was recorded at an unusually low volume, and because i was making a little noise while preparing food across the room, i really had to crank up my computer speakers to hear the discussion. knowing i’d forget about that increased volume, i left myself an all-caps note in a textedit window that said "TURN VOLUME DOWN." predictably though, when i returned to my computer, i instinctively clicked away from textedit without paying attention to the note my past self had left for future/present me, and two minutes later when i started playing a hot chip song in itunes, i nearly had a heart attack.

wednesday march 25

today i was at hurricanes when the usual wednesday night karaoke got underway. whenever i've been there in the past, there are usually a few people who sign up right away, or at the very least, there's a bartender or two to help kick things off. in this case though, the host (shawn the karaoke guy) was practically the only one singing for the first half hour. he did something like five of the first six songs. eventually, the place filled up with singers and it turned into a typical karaoke night, but it made me wonder how long shawn would've continued singing on his own if that hadn't happened. would he have called it a night at like 11 or 11:30 maybe? also, why does imagining that scenario make me so sad?


tuesday march 24

today i was at the kennedy having a drink at the bar when i overheard the bartender tell a patron that he was "nearly 30." i perked up at this, being pretty close to 30 myself, and obviously very open to the idea of commiserating with someone else who was dealing with the same problem. so obviously i was pretty dismayed when he continued his thought by saying, "just a few years away!" ugh, try 13 days away.

monday march 23

today i realized that some chicken in my fridge had a "best before" date of march 23, and resolved to cook it before the end of the day, even if i didn’t plan to eat it right away. of course, i totally forgot to do so until i noticed it again in the fridge at about 11:30 pm. i quickly cooked up the chicken, and ended up finishing it at 11:58 pm, extremely thankful that the clock hadn’t passed midnight, at which point i obviously would’ve been forced to throw it out.

sunday march 22

today i was riding a bus down lansdowne and noticed while i was sitting there that i’d left my fly open when i left my house. sometimes, the act of zipping up your fly is more egregious than simply leaving it down, and i feel like that was the case in this instance, since i would’ve had to sort of lean back and make a big show of fixing it. instead, i covered it up by very casually keeping my hands in my lap, then made sure when i got off the bus that my jacket pulled down just far enough to cover it up. i ended up finally fixing it about 10 minutes after i first noticed it, when i finally got a minute to myself after placing my takeout order in mother india.

saturday march 21

today i spent a good 10 minutes conducting some google research to try to determine whether drake has ever specifically explained the origin of the toronto nickname "the 6." while the general consensus seems to be that it stems from the city's two primary area codes (416, 647), i much prefer the idea that it was inspired by the six "boroughs" (east york, york, north york, scarborough, etobicoke, toronto) that were amalgamated to become current-day toronto. my googling didn't turn up any instances of drake explaining the name, so until i'm told otherwise, i'm going to go ahead and believe it's maybe 75% the amalgamation thing and 25% the area code thing.


friday march 20

today i spent my entire time in the shower (maybe 7-8 minutes) thinking about how i’d reorganize the months in order to create the ideal year-round weather pattern in toronto. winter is too long, and even though i love summer, i have to admit i’m usually a little burnt out on it by august. this was my ideal re-order:


thursday march 19

today i went to a show at comedy bar that was free, but also "pay what you can." on my way out, i had the opportunity to throw some change into the pay-what-you-can bucket, but my hands were tied up, carrying my jacket and the empty glass of beer that i felt weird leaving in the room. i didn’t want to stop, put something down so i could pull out my wallet, and hold up the rest of the people who were trying to leave the room, so i made the snap decision not to pay anything, and also declined to take a flier from the host as i left. the decision showed a stunning lack of foresight on my part, since she was friends with the friend i attended the show with, and five minutes later, the two of them were talking while i sat there wondering if it was too late to offer to pay what i could. if i’d been her, i’d have been pretty unimpressed with me.

wednesday march 18

today i spent an embarrassing amount of time figuring out the best way to get to a bar in the junction. as i wrapped up my research, i realized that, according to google maps, the place was only a seven-minute walk from a park where i often play basketball in the summer, so it’s not like i had no idea how to get to the area or anything.

tuesday march 17

today i realized that the old clock radio i use in my bedroom had lost a line. that is, the last digit could no longer produce the connecting line in its top-left corner. by way of example, 5:08 now looks like this:

while i can imagine this becoming a slight annoyance, the fact that it’s the last digit means it will never be that confusing. i mean, it’s not like it’s a huge deal if i think it’s 8:23 instead of 8:29. and the 3 and the 9 are really the only digits i'll mix up, even though sometimes i'll probably wake up and think i'm reading hieroglyphics for a second. besides, where would i even buy another radio that also tells me the time? 1997?


monday march 16

today i realized that, without fail, every time a domino’s order arrives at my house, i switch to "mood lighting" (overheard lights off, lamp on). just a man and his pan pizza, having a romantic evening.


sunday march 15

today i was walking home down dundas street listening to grantland’s "nba after dark" podcast, which featured an appearance from new girl actor jake johnson. after he spent some time talking about his hometown bulls, johnson transitioned into telling stories about the new girl set, including an extended explanation of how he and max greenfield co-manage a madden team, with one of them acting as the team’s offensive coordinator and the other as the team’s defensive coordinator. the anecdote was so unexpectedly hilarious that i involuntarily burst out laughing around dundas and brock. i’d call the noise that came out of me a "guffaw" or maybe a loud "chortle." although there was probably no one in front of me that would’ve heard it, i was too embarrassed to turn around and see if anyone behind me noticed.

saturday march 14

today i tried to shazam a song that was playing at duffy’s, even though i was 99% sure it was "cumbersome" by seven mary three. before shazam finished working, the song unexpectedly faded out as the live band finished their break and started playing again. while i couldn’t prove to my friend that the song was in fact "cumbersome," i confirmed it on my own when i got home -- this prompted me to remember that when i was a teenager, i’d had an acoustic version of the song that i greatly preferred to the original. i then spent 15 minutes trying to track down this acoustic version, but it was nowhere to be found. despite there being a record of it on wikipedia, it wasn’t on youtube, itunes, or anywhere else. now i may have to dig out my old mix cds to try to find it, because it’s become one of those nagging things that i just can’t let go.

friday march 13

today i went to sukho thai and ate dinner next to a couple that appeared to be embroiled in a serious fight. both of them were staring down at their phones and didn’t speak to each other for several minutes when we sat down. however, after their food came, things started getting more heated, and i caught bits and pieces of what appeared to be a very dramatic conversation — at one point, the guy declared, "this could all be over! everything we’ve done could be for nothing!" frankly, if i had been involved in such a tense and emotional encounter, i probably would’ve done everything i could to get out of there as quickly as possible, so i had to respect that they took the time to get their leftovers put in take-out containers before they left. hope they’re doing okay.

thursday march 12

today i finally worked my way through my to-do list for the day, crossing the day’s final essential task off the list at around 10:30pm. with some relief, i got ready to relax, briefly considering whether i’d left anything important off the list. at this moment, i abruptly realized that i’d forgotten to put my garbage and compost out to the street, and quickly packed them up and took them out front. while the garbage had yet to be picked up, the compost collector was literally about 10 doors down, probably having passed my house within the last 10-15 minutes. thanks a lot, to-do list.

wednesday march 11

today i finally ended a streak of having worked for 33 straight waking hours, then resumed working two hours later.


tuesday march 10

today i anticipated such a busy day that i prepared myself two sandwiches in the morning and left them in the fridge for the afternoon, figuring i wouldn’t be able to spare the three or four minutes necessary to make those sandwiches at the height of my 18-hour work day.

monday march 9

today i published a tweet with an animated gif attached, and was surprised when the file, which exceeded a megabyte, worked with no problem. rather than thinking "wow, cool, that twitter can do this now," my first reaction was to be worried for twitter and to wonder if the site could sustain millions of these kinds of uploads in the long term.


sunday march 8

today i turned on the radio in the hopes of catching the end of the raptors/thunder game. most games i’ve listened to on the radio this season have been on the fan 590, which was where my dial was set. however, in this case, the game was on tsn 1050 — before i turned the dial and changed the station, i realized that what i was hearing on the fan 590 was my friend talking about the blue jays, which made me feel a little guilty about the fact that i was navigating away from it as quickly as possible.

saturday march 7

today i woke up at 9:09am, immediately started writing a "top 50 nfl free agents" story for my website, and published it at 12:09pm. it clocked in at about 5,100 words, which means i was averaging over 28 words per minute, even taking into account all the research i was doing and any other distractions that popped up over the course of those three hours. i was pretty proud of this level of productivity. i mean i bet there are a few hunt-and-peck typists who only average 28 words per minute at their best.


friday march 6

today i noticed that - as it had been for the last week and a half - my brita water pitcher was flashing the red "change" light at me whenever i used it, indicating it was time to change the filter. on one hand, i felt like this was premature on the filter's part — it hasn’t been THAT long since i changed it, and it’s not like i’m some family of four, pouring dozens of glasses of water per day. it seemed to me that i could probably get away with just reseting the warning light to "good" and letting it ride for another couple months. on the other hand, it always makes me feel very uneasy to ignore instructions i receive from machines, and this is the thing that ended up winning out -- i changed the filter.

thursday march 5

today i met up with my book club at duffy's, as per my suggestion. based on the skepticism and the "lol"s in our email thread planning the meeting, i could tell the club was apprehensive about my choice, and i was starting to second-guess my belief that such a divey sports bar would be perfect for book club. however, once we settled in, my initial instinct was proven right. we had the downstairs area to ourselves, there was enough light to read by, the 90s alt-rock radio wasn’t loud enough to drown us out, and the deals were as amazing as ever (i had a burger and two beers for a bill of $14.69). there’s no twist or punchline coming here -- this is just an earnest blog entry about how much i love duffy's.


wednesday march 4

today i was walking down bloor street when i heard someone say "i listen to the streets, you know, mike skinner... i watch a lot of british movies," as if he were trying to prove to his friend how into u.k. culture he was.

tuesday march 3

today i received an email with the subject line "dangers" from my dad, who is on vacation in west palm beach. the entire message was about how a seagull went after his sandwich during a trip to the beach, but - having had a gull knock a sandwich out of his hand in australia several weeks ago - he was prepared and managed to protect his food this time around. the email also included a photo which i would’ve probably assumed was some sort of painting or stock photo if he hadn’t referred to the seagull as "this guy," suggesting he did in fact take this amazing action shot:

monday march 2

today i went to see sleater-kinney at the sound academy, a venue which has a bathroom attendant. this is, obviously, a thing i hate -- the bathroom isn’t a place where i want to be figuring out whether or not i should tip someone, or how much is appropriate (based on how many times i think i’ll be back in the bathroom before i leave). in this case though, the guy was at least entertaining, cheerfully calling out "if you touch your dick, wash your hands!" to everyone who used the bathroom.

sunday march 1

today i was waiting in line at the checkout at no frills when i looked down and saw a single glove sitting in one of the recently-used baskets on the ground. picking it up, i said, "hey, is this your glove?" to the guy in front of me, and it was, in fact, his glove. he was pretty appreciative, and it probably seemed as if i was just a very helpful person who was very aware of his surroundings, when actually the only reason i noticed the glove was because i always look to make sure i can put my empty basket on top of the pile without having any leftover groceries (or gloves) ruin the perfect basket stack.


saturday february 28

today i was watching the raptors game when play-by-play announcer eric smith read an advertisement for tickets in the "drake zone." the moment reminded me of when i was a kid and football play-by-play guys used to read in-game ads for the network's upcoming tv shows -- if i was a fan of one of those shows, i'd always hope for the announcers to follow up the spot by actually talking for 10-15 seconds about that show. as i grew older and more media-savvy, i recognized that most commentators have no interest in those shows, and simply want to get the required plug out of the way as quickly as possible so they can go back to talking about the football game. still, in this instance, i was really hoping that they'd follow up the drake plug with at least a brief discussion about the new album. no dice though.

friday february 27

today i was just browsing through some random old entries in this blog, reliving some of my life's highlights over the last few years, when i came across this entry, which reads:

today i taught myself how to play backgammon, for no particular reason. i don't even have a board.

while i certainly trust my 2008 self, and believe this happened, if you had asked me yesterday if i knew how to play backgammon, my answer would have been "no, don't think i've ever even tried it."

thursday february 26

today i noticed that a facebook event my friend created (and invited me to) is knocking off my brand.

wednesday february 25

today i had to pick up a few groceries, but took a while to get myself over to no frills, and eventually arrived there at 8:45 pm, 15 minutes before the store was scheduled to close. quick to grab the handful of things i needed, i headed to the checkout a few minutes later. although the lack of lines at the checkout was nice, i soon discovered that apparently the people who do their shopping just before the grocery store closes are the type of people who think they run the place.

approaching the so-called "express" line, which was empty, i noticed a couple piles of groceries sitting there, and was told by the cashier that two separate customers had gone off looking for "one more thing." she had already started ringing one of them up, so i had to stand there waiting for these people to come back. finally, as the cashier was about to cancel the previous transaction to accommodate me, a middle-aged woman came leisurely walking over with her "one more thing" (a big of potatoes), not acknowledging the fact that she'd been holding things up.

after the cashier rang her through, we both looked around for the other woman, and spotted her literally at the very other end of the store, in the furthest possible aisle from us, on her cell phone and still walking in the wrong direction. fortunately, with no in-progress transaction to contend with this time, i was able to jump her in line. still, as i handed each of my items one by one to the cashier, who couldn't reach them over this other lady's groceries, i was pretty disgusted all the same.