one thing i did today

one thing i did today: 2006-2011

2011-10-23T09:09:00.001-04:00

today i decided to retire one thing i did today for good. i'm sorry, you guys. i thought i'd come back fresh and ready to go after my hiatus, but all the break did was reinforce that i'm just not as interested as i once was in keeping this thing going.

thank you to everyone that read and/or commented over the last five years. if it weren't for you guys, i undoubtedly would've called a day a lot earlier than i did. knowing that people (including plenty who don't even know me!) were consistently reading and enjoying the site was really awesome, and i don't feel good at all about quitting on you here.

BUT know that the fact i'm retiring the blog doesn't mean i'm retiring from the observational humour game in general. you can follow me on twitter at @jlukeadams or (for extremely infrequent sports observations) @Adams_Luke. plus, there's that "random one thing i did today" button on the right sidebar that lets you revisit one of my 1700+ entries at random. so that's some consolation... right? are we cool?

thanks again everyone. stay positive.

monday october 10

2011-10-12T00:14:00.000-04:00

today i took an earlier post-holiday bus than usual from london to toronto, arriving back in the city around 1:00 pm. an hour later, i walked out of my house and was met by an overwhelming smell of gas, along with fire trucks and police cars parked in the middle of the street. apparently there'd been a big gas leak two houses down. the fire department apparently got it under control, which was good because let me tell you, i would've been pretty annoyed if i'd come back to toronto early only to be right next door to some sort of explosion.

sunday october 9

2011-10-12T00:13:00.001-04:00

today i was bantering with my parents, describing a big mistake i'd just made. inexplicably, i summed up the conversation by declaring that it had been a "big boner" on my part. there was a long pause before my mom said, "i thought that word meant something else" and i awkwardly explained that i was referring to its "traditional" meaning.

saturday october 8

2011-10-12T00:12:00.000-04:00

today i went to my friend's dad's place to watch the first game of the alcs with the two of them. he lived in an apartment building, one that required me to buzz up to be let in. this process always make me a little anxious. what if i key in the wrong buzzer number? what if the exchange over the little microphone doesn't go smoothly? what if the buzzer number is different than the apartment number? in this case, my anxiety was totally warranted -- when i buzzed up, a voice answered, "[muffled] headquarters." thinking i'd somehow inadvertently buzzed "building headquarters" or the front lobby or something, i stumbled over my name before the door was unlocked. it wasn't until later that i found out it was my friend's dad, having jokingly identified his apartment as "detroit tigers headquarters."

friday october 7

2011-10-12T00:11:00.000-04:00

today i turned down my coworkers' lunch invitation. five of them were checking out a chinese place down the street, and while i initially declined because i was feeling sick, by the time noon rolled around, i wasn't feeling too bad. at that point, i only continued to decline the invite because i'd become attached the idea of getting a solid 45 minutes of reading done over lunch. what a nerd.

thursday october 6

2011-10-12T00:10:00.000-04:00

today i suffered through a cold at work, popping buckley's cold and sinus pills intermittently and wishing i could've taken a sick day. unfortunately, i used a sick day just a week and a half ago on a morning when i woke up after having only slept for three hours, and didn't want to use another one again so soon.

wednesday october 5

2011-10-06T19:18:00.002-04:00

today i had a friend share a story with me about the time she suffered a concussion at a strip club after getting kicked in the head by a stripper. we've known each other for five years and this somehow had never come up before. i have no idea why. it's probably the best thing she's ever told me.

tuesday october 4

2011-10-05T17:56:00.002-04:00

today i had a lucille bluth moment ("how much could a banana cost? ten dollars?") when, like a nerd, i went to a bookstore to buy clash of kings. having not actually bought a new book in maybe years, i was pleasantly surprised to see that it only cost $9.99. that's like a cent per page, you guys!

monday october 3

2011-10-04T21:56:00.002-04:00

today i went to puck 'n wings with a couple coworkers. one of the two only comes out occasionally for lunch, and after the leggy, attractive server took our order, he commented, "whoa, never seen HER here before." i helpfully told him that she only works mondays, then immediately realized that when she'd walked away from our table, she'd only gone about three feet behind me, and was standing there entering our orders into the computer. the only hope i have that she doesn't think a creep is that maybe, way up there, she couldn't hear me. seriously, she's like 7'8". her legs just don't end.

sunday october 2

2011-10-03T19:03:00.003-04:00

today i was walking home from a friend's house after watching breaking bad. as i walked along the sidewalk, i noticed a big black dog trotting along ahead of me. i was moving faster than he was, so i overtook him within 30 seconds or so, and then watched nervously as he trailed at my heels for about the next 20 feet, before taking off across the street. what are you supposed to do when you see a dog wandering the streets on his own? corral him and go door-to-door in search of his owner? pretend you don't see him? assume he knows what he's doing? ask him "hey where are your parents big guy"? the encounter made me feel anxious and guilty the rest of the way home.

saturday october 1

2011-10-02T10:19:00.002-04:00

today i had a lengthy internal debate about whether or not to go to a friend's birthday bonfire. while a trip to the beer store took me practically across the street from the dufferin grove party, i felt very strongly that i didn't want my clothes and bedroom to smell like smoke for the next three days. eventually, i decided to go, then attempted to avoid the side effects by standing as far away from the fire as i could without seeming weird about it. two hours later, i left very cold and, of course, smelling very much like smoke.

hiatus

2011-08-19T21:10:00.002-04:00

today i decided to officially take a break. it was gonna be an uphill battle to catch up on over a month's worth of entries, and i was already feeling guilty about having to flood your rss feeds with vague recollections from weeks ago.

so, after posting one thing i did for 1,705 straight days (more than four and a half years), i'm taking a little time off.

i'll be back and better than ever (actual daily updates!) on october 1st.

friday july 15

2011-07-21T22:05:00.001-04:00

today i googled "what to put on a meatball sub."

thursday july 14

2011-07-21T22:04:00.002-04:00

today i received an excited text message from a friend about the fact that the blue jays' eight-run first inning even involved a "bonk." not knowing what the heck this meant, i ignored the text until much, much later, when i found out that it had been a hilarious misspelling of "balk."

wednesday july 13

2011-07-21T22:03:00.000-04:00

today i was walking through the produce section of no frills when i heard a guy on the phone ask someone on the other end of the line exactly how many berries he should buy: "telling me to get you a lot of berries is like telling a banker to give you a lot of cash," he said.

tuesday july 12

2011-07-21T22:02:00.000-04:00

today i was sitting on the subway on my way to work when a guy sat down next to me and started fanning himself with a newspaper. i thought this was a little rude. it was already a perfectly reasonable temperature on the air-conditioned subway, particularly if, like me, you've been on it for a half-hour already. i mean, sure, fine, if you're sitting by yourself, fan away. but the breeze from his makeshift fan was giving me a chill. good thing it only went one for a single stop.

monday july 11

2011-07-21T22:00:00.000-04:00

today i was walking home along margueretta when an asian girl stopped me and asked, with some confusion, how to get to 468 margueretta. i could immediately see why she was confused: my section of the street ends at bloor, around 340 margueretta. it then continues north of bloor, but only after you walk a half-block east. i could have easily explained this to someone who spoke fluent english, but, sadly, this girl didn't. still, i did my best, with a lot of pointing and gesturing, and when she eventually thanked me and walked off toward her destination, i was at least 40% sure she'd make it.

sunday july 10

2011-07-21T21:57:00.000-04:00

today i spent a solid 20 minutes at the laundromat watching a show called splat-a-lot!, which is ytv's version of shows like mxc or wipeout. while i felt a little weird watching adult commentators mock a bunch of children as they tumbled and fell (often in slow motion replay), i can't say i wasn't entertained.

saturday july 9

2011-07-21T21:51:00.000-04:00

today i got off the college streetcar at about 2:30 am, on my way home. as i walked along college toward my street (margueretta), i noticed a guy on the opposite side of college, across from the margueretta intersection, getting ready to cross. while this wouldn't be a problem at, say, 6:00 pm, nothing is more uncomfortable than walking alongside the only other person on the street late at night. so i made a concerted effort to speed up, hitting margueretta well before this guy crossed the road, and getting a good lead on him. upon getting home, i'd been in the kitchen for about 30 seconds when my front door opened and someone came in. as it turns out, the guy i'd been working so hard to avoid in the street had been my roommate.

friday july 8

2011-07-09T09:41:00.000-04:00

today i went to the blue jays box office to pick up tickets i'd ordered online for next weekend's series against the yankees. i handed over my credit card and photo id, and after a few clicks of the mouse and keyboard, the girl at the window handed me a pen and receipt to sign. upon signing, i had my cards returned and she passed me the tickets. this left me with a handful of stuff to put away at once -- the cards into my wallet and then the tickets and wallet into two different pockets. in my struggle to do all this quickly, i didn't realize right away that i was still holding onto the pen that i'd used to sign. "can i get my pen back please?" she asked tersely, about a second after handing over the tickets. embarrassed, i apologized and passed it back through the window, thinking that her tone was a little unnecessary. i just needed a couple seconds to sort everything out, lady. did you actually think i was gonna walk away with your pen?

thursday july 7

2011-07-09T09:34:00.002-04:00

today i was at work when i overheard a coworker ask someone what time it was. she got her answer, then a few minutes later asked what day it was (wednesday or thursday). if she'd continued to pursue this line of questioning and asked what year it was, i would've pretty certain there was some sort of jennifer-garner-in-13-going-on-30 scenario at work here.

wednesday july 6

2011-07-08T15:28:00.001-04:00

today i was picking out some bananas at no frills when i realized a guy off to my right was talking to me. i pulled off my headphones and asked him to repeat himself. he then proceeded to talk for 20 seconds about the trick to finding the "sweetest" bananas (it involves thickness). i thanked him and put my headphones back on, wondering if he shared that knowledge with someone in the fruit section every time he went grocery shopping, or if i just looked particularly indecisive choosing my bananas.

tuesday july 5

2011-07-08T15:18:00.004-04:00

today i made a slew of new discoveries about the rogers centre while exploring various websites attempting to determine when and where to pick up will-call tickets. of the new things i learned, my favourite was finding out that there were windows at the jays' box office where you could leave tickets for friends to pick up later. could've used this at least a handful of times over the course of the 50+ games i've attended since the start of last season.

monday july 4

2011-07-05T01:49:00.001-04:00

today i was working at my desk, minding my own business, when a middle-aged coworker passed by. she stopped outside my cubicle, walked in, put her arm around my shoulder and said "you're such a nice young man." as if this wasn't uncomfortable enough, she hung around for about 30 seconds, repeating at least four times what a nice young man i am, while i nervously laughed and said "thank you" a lot. it was weird.

sunday july 3

2011-07-05T01:47:00.000-04:00

today i went out on my deck and found it was so hot on my bare feet that i couldn't even stand on it for more than a few seconds. i'm a huge summer apologist, but this could be an issue.

saturday july 2

2011-07-05T01:46:00.000-04:00

today i was at the st. lawrence market with my roommate, looking for food to bring to an evening barbecue. while i settled on the fairly safe choice of corn on the cob, i decided to encourage him to be a little more adventurous. as we listened to one of the merchants try to sell us on the merits of camel meat, i pointed out that it "could be the hit of the party." we ended up walking away with six camel sliders. to be fair, if it wasn't the hit of the evening's food options, it was at least the most-discussed.

friday july 1

2011-07-05T01:45:00.000-04:00

today i sat in row 33 in the 500 level at the rogers centre. our seats had an obstructed view and were so high up that occasionally i forgot i was even at the game. it was the first time i'd sat that high since my uncle had taken me to a game in a jays' world series season (either '92 or '93) and we sat in about the same spot. on that day, he joked that if they closed the roof, we'd be left on the outside. it sorta felt that way again.

thursday june 30

2011-07-05T01:44:00.001-04:00

today i was hanging out with a friend at toby's. our bill came to about $23, and we each threw in a $20 bill, intending to get some change. when the server returned to our table, she put down a $10 bill and two toonies, and was fishing around for more change when i stopped her. as she walked away, we left one of the two toonies on our table, bringing the total tip to a pretty generous $5. of course, given that we'd given the tip in two parts - $3ish in the change that she hadn't given us and $2 in what we left on the table - it occurred to me as we walked out that, at that moment, we probably seemed pretty cheap both to her and to anyone who looked at the toonie on our table.

wednesday june 29

2011-07-05T01:43:00.001-04:00

today i was sitting outside gate 10 of the rogers centre, waiting for a friend to meet me for the blue jays game, when i noticed another friend walk past. while we'd gone to the game together yesterday, he was with a different group of friends today -- a group i didn't know. as i watched, they settled in about 15 feet from me while they waited for the rest of their group to come and tickets to be picked up. i could've gone over and said hi, or even just called his name from where i was sitting. i was that close. instead, they eventually got everything sorted out and headed into the dome, while i continued to wait for my friend and felt super-creepy about having observed all that without saying anything.

tuesday june 28

2011-07-05T01:41:00.000-04:00

today i ran into the same coworker on three consecutive trips to bathroom. either our bathroom schedules were perfectly in sync or he was pretty much just hanging out there all day.

monday june 27

2011-07-05T01:39:00.000-04:00

today i watched the true blood season four premiere. after the opening "previously on..." sequence reminded me of all the season three ridiculousness, i paused the episode and strongly considered just cutting my losses and giving up on the show right there. i didn't. i hit play. it may have been the wrong call.

sunday june 26

2011-07-05T01:35:00.001-04:00

today i was walking home with a friend when he stopped at the lcbo. although i didn't need to buy anything, i went in with him and glanced around while he grabbed some beers. as i was walking to the checkout, something caught my eye -- tall cans of mill street organic?? having never seen these before, i excitedly grabbed four and took them to the counter. my enthusiasm waned a little when i saw the price, which i barely had enough change to cover. $2.75 per 473ml can?? For a local beer that's 4.2% alcohol? c'mon guys.

saturday june 25

2011-07-05T01:33:00.001-04:00

today i woke up a little on the early side and cracked my bedroom door open so i could hear the living room door. a friend was crashing on the couch in there, and my general rule is that when they open the door, that's when it's cool to go in and hang out. so when the door opened a bit later, i got up and went in to say hi. as it turned out though, she hadn't opened the door -- a cross-breeze coming from the open windows had forced it open. turns out that woke her up anyway though, so win-win!

friday june 24

2011-07-05T01:30:00.001-04:00

today i went to say goodbye to a coworker who was working her last day in my office. in the few minutes i talked to her, i learned that one of her aspirations after leaving involved starting up her own porn production company. she already had cameramen lined up and everything. i walked away wondering if the conversation was so eye-opening because i'd never really talked to her in-depth before or if that was the sort of thing she only would've shared on her way out.

thursday june 23

2011-07-05T01:26:00.002-04:00

today i didn't drink a beer for the first time in 17 days.

wednesday june 22

2011-07-05T01:25:00.001-04:00

today i endured the third day of my week-long training session on our new software system at work. by this point, i'd realized that, given that the training focused more on other people's roles and less on mine, i could come in nearly an hour late in the morning, leave a half-hour late in the afternoon, take an extra-long lunch, and do very little for the rest of the day. in other words, this week is the best.

tuesday june 21

2011-07-05T01:22:00.001-04:00

today i was getting on the subway at finch station after work when my attention was drawn to a shouting match between two passengers who had just gotten off. each guy was yelling at the other to stop pushing -- a lot of "you were the one who was pushing!" calm down, y'all.

monday june 20

2011-06-27T21:56:00.000-04:00

today i bought two grapefruits at the grocery store. i was under the impression that they were sorta pale-looking oranges. i don't even like grapefruit.

sunday june 19

2011-06-27T21:53:00.001-04:00

today i had brunch with my parents, my cousin, and my cousin's family (her husband and their three kids). twice during the course of the meal, my cousin, who lives a few blocks away from me, suggested that they should have me over for a barbecue this summer. she made this same suggestion last summer. and each time she posed the idea today, she made a vague comment about "having to get my number," though she didn't ask for it either time. given how much her children (three boys, ages two, four, and seven) terrified me, i'm perfectly okay with it not happening.

saturday june 18

2011-06-27T21:51:00.000-04:00

today i wore my headphones for nearly the entire greyhound trip from toronto to london. the only times i rode in silence were in between albums or when my ears needed a break for a couple minutes. in these moments, i was bombarded by the incessant and inane conversation of a guy and a girl a couple rows back. even if i'd wanted to ride in silence, or maybe read a book, i couldn't have done it, because i would've just heard their entire dialogue and been driven crazy. as we pulled into the station in london and i took off my headphones for good, i heard the guy say to the girl, "that's what you need to do on the bus! find someone to talk to and it just flies by!" while this may have been the case for them, i doubt my ipod-less bus neighbours felt the same way.

friday june 17

2011-06-27T21:46:00.000-04:00

today i had a post-work nap that lasted a little longer than i expected. when i woke up, i heard an unfamiliar voice in the house. a few minutes later, i heard that voice coming a little closer, and realized that my roommate was giving one of his friends a tour of our place. as they passed by my closed door, i heard him say "luke's probably sleeping." while this was, of course, not the case, i'd been too lazy to put on any pants yet, which i didn't exactly want to announce. i made as little noise as possible, feigning sleep, until i heard them go back downstairs.

thursday june 16

2011-06-27T21:45:00.000-04:00

today i went to richmond hill to see a friend's play. i arrived about 15 minutes before the doors of the theatre opened, but didn't have anything else to do, so i hung around the parking lot. with the sun blazing down, i looked for a bit of shade, and walked to the far side of the parking lot, where there was a bit of grass and a few trees. still wearing my work clothes, i decided not to sit down on the grass, meaning i sort of awkwardly leaned against the tree while i waited for the 7:15 doors. as uncomfortable as this was, my discomfort increased even more when someone drove up and parked in the spot right next to me -- again, this was the opposite side of the parking lot, as far as you could get from the theatre. we were pretty much the only two people on the corner, and we were about ten feet apart, both just standing/sitting there. i don't know where i was going with this. it was just weird.

wednesday june 15

2011-06-27T21:42:00.000-04:00

today i overheard a co-worker tell the person sitting in the cubicle next to mine that today was her last day and she was heading out. although i didn't even recognize the voice, or know that anyone was quitting today, i was able to deduce who it was by noticing the direction she'd walked in and the fact that she didn't say anything to me. no big loss.

tuesday june 14

2011-06-27T21:38:00.000-04:00

today i went to the ossington for my roommate's birthday. at one point, when there were maybe 20 to 25 people in the bar, i noticed a group of three girls whispering to one another and pointing toward our table. i didn't think much of it, anticipating that, if anything, maybe they'd come over and start talking to us. so it caught me by surprise when, a minute later, one of the girls walked over to the table, jumped up and top of it, and proceeded to dance there for the next 20 seconds before hopping off.

monday june 13

2011-06-23T07:50:00.000-04:00

today i went to subway for lunch and watched the old asian couple in front of me take about 45 seconds to decide which sauce they wanted to put on their shared sandwich.

sunday june 12

2011-06-23T07:44:00.000-04:00

today i went to hurricanes to watch game 6 of the nba finals. although i tried to recruit a handful of friends to join me, none ended up taking me on the offer. so i went in hoping to score a seat at the bar, where sitting by myself wouldn't be as noticeable or as problematic. however, when i walked in, there were no empty seats at the bar. reluctantly, i grabbed a table in the corner that would have comfortably seated two, and uncomfortably seated three. i sat there for the next three hours, as the bar filled up and plenty of groups walked in and out, not seeing any open tables. by the end of the night i was feeling so guilty about commandeering a table on my own that i tipped my server 45% on my bill in an attempt to make up for it.

saturday june 11

2011-06-23T07:39:00.000-04:00

today i woke up at 8:00 am to ensure that when i called my dad to wish him a happy birthday, he'd be home. after passing along my groggy birthday wishes, i went back to bed for another three hours.

friday june 10

2011-06-23T07:31:00.000-04:00

today i drank beers in the following places: a streetcar stop, on the streetcar, on college street, on margueretta street, and on the subway. i didn't drink any in an actual bar.

thursday june 9

2011-06-09T22:04:00.002-04:00

today i went to a different ali baba's than my usual neighbourhood location to pick up a shawarma. when i made my usual order -- a chicken shawarma with everything except turnips on it -- i was met with resistance. "are you sure?" the guy behind the counter asked, gesturing to the turnip pile. "they're really good!" i laughed and said i'd tried them before and i just wasn't a fan, at which point he picked up a thing of turnip and held it out to me. "here, try it," he said. not seeing a way out of the taste test, i took a bite as he prepared my sandwich. "just not my thing!" i exclaimed, still holding the half-eaten turnip, terrified that he'd overrule me and throw a few in anyway. thankfully, he backed off as i ate the rest of the turnip, not really enjoying it.

wednesday june 8

2011-06-09T07:27:00.002-04:00

today i sat down in the subway after work and noticed that a subway token was sitting on the seat in front of me. as someone with a metropass, the free token didn't appeal much to me, but i was curious to see how the situation would play out. would the person who eventually sat in that seat just pick it up and keep it, or would some passerby who was heading for another seat notice it and pick it up on the way? my curiousity was squashed a moment later, when a guy sat right on the token without realizing it was there. when he got up two stops later, it was gone. i guess it stuck to his pants or something?

tuesday june 7

2011-06-07T21:56:00.001-04:00

today i went to the td branch in my office building at lunch to deposit a cheque. the teller was friendlier than usual, making small talk about the london address on my account, as well as my two first names. after making my deposit, i was about to take off when she asked (referring, i guess, to her own performance): "how was the service today?" "good!" i replied, truthfully. "please recommend us!" she called after me as i walked away. this last bit left me a little confused. was i supposed to be recommending td in general, or this branch specifically? did they expect me to go tell my friends "you'll never guess what happened to me today at that bank!" or was this the sort of thing that i was just expected to throw in if i happened to partake in a conversation where, say, another friend complained about his bank. ultimately, i felt like this imposition destroyed all the good will the teller had built up over the course of the transaction.

monday june 6

2011-06-06T22:42:00.002-04:00

today i was on the subway when it came to a stop at a station along the yonge line. glancing out the window, i noticed an advertisement on the wall which was partially obscured by the subway car. i'm not sure which company or product was being advertised, but this is how it read, line by line:

if we took
any more care
of you we'd be
tucking you
in

this is the partial version i saw, which caused me to do a double-take:

we took
more care
we'd be
ucking you

sunday june 5

2011-06-05T23:41:00.001-04:00

today i was doing laundry when star wars: episode i - the phantom menace came on the laundromat's tv. another guy walked in a few minutes later, watched a scene or two, then asked me if i knew which installment of the star wars series it was. i answered and we exchanged a couple jokes about how bad phantom menace is. then he said: "i've been watching all the old chinese ones lately." i looked at him blankly, thinking he was talking about some sort of chinese version of star wars. "they just ripped off everything from those anyway," he continued, before noticing his clothes had finished drying and ending the conversation. i'm still not entirely sure what he was talking about.

saturday june 4

2011-06-05T23:33:00.000-04:00

today i was hanging out at my place with a few friends. the hockey game had just ended, but it was still early, so we put on some music to fill the silence. since my laptop and speakers were in the room next to where we were hanging out, i threw a bunch of tracks on a playlist to avoid constantly going back and forth between rooms to pick new songs. however, shortly after putting together this playlist, most of the girls took off. the resulting roomful of dudes meant that the playlist needed to be revamped -- i quickly headed back to my room to make the appropriate modifications when the first notes of britney spears' "till the world ends" played.

friday june 3

2011-06-05T23:27:00.001-04:00

today i spent my lunch hour participating in a 32-person charity ping pong tournament at work. while it was the first time i'd played in over five years, i still managed to get off to a good start, winning my first two matchups to earn a spot in the 'elite eight.' however, at this point, i ran into a player so good that i didn't even score a single point en route to being eliminated. with dozens of people standing around the table watching the blowout unfold, probably wondering how a fraud like me made it to the third round, i left the tournament feeling too embarrassed to ever show my face on the 15th floor again.

thursday june 2

2011-06-05T23:21:00.001-04:00

today i was getting lunch at mr. sub when i overheard a guy talking on the phone while he held a $10 bill. "it's fake!" he was telling the person on the other end of the call, referring to the $10 bill. "they told me it was fake!" i wasn't sure what was more interesting about this -- the fact that this fake $10 bill (which i glanced it) was convincing enough to make this guy think it was real, the fact that mr. sub paid enough attention to catch it, or the fact that the incident prompted the guy to make a phone call, as if it was the only money he had and he needed someone to come buy him a sandwich.

wednesday june 1

2011-06-05T23:19:00.000-04:00

today i saw a guy wearing a suit and tie eating two giant freezies as he waited for the subway after work.

tuesday may 31

2011-06-05T23:13:00.000-04:00

today i debated going to opera bob's to watch the blue jays game, and eventually decided against it, when the team fell behind early and i couldn't recruit any friends to come with me. an hour or two later, i got a text from a friend telling me that twilight's robert pattinson was at the lakeview, approximately 30 feet from opera bob's. opportunity missed!!!

monday may 30

2011-05-31T23:10:00.000-04:00

today i took the subway to finch station for work. as usual, as i tried to exit the car, the group of people preparing to enter crowded in, ready to push their way on the instant all of us had gotten off. however, today, one middle-aged man couldn't even wait that long, and pushed his way through the door while a handful of us were still waiting to exit. as soon as this happened, a younger guy started yelling at him, hilariously. "what is wrong with you?" he called. "are you a savage? you're a savage!" it was a wonderful way to start the work week.

sunday may 29

2011-05-30T23:05:00.000-04:00

today i went to black dice for a drink and chatted with the bartender as i drank. after finishing, we attempted a high five as part of the goodbye and nearly whiffed entirely on it. "good one!" i said faux-enthusiastically, as we parted ways. although my mockery was aimed at both of us, i had a nagging concern as i walked home that she interpreted it solely as a sarcastic criticism of her high-fiving ability.

saturday may 28

2011-05-30T22:19:00.000-04:00

today i spent the night at home relaxing for the first time in about a week. it allowed me the chance to "catch up on the internet," which i always find immensely rewarding. my favourite discoveries of today were planking, kreayshawn's "gucci gucci," and this gif.

friday may 27

2011-05-30T22:15:00.000-04:00

today i heard a friend do such a convincing cover of earth, wind & fire's "september" that i initially thought he was lip-synching.

thursday may 26

2011-05-27T22:12:00.000-04:00

today i listened to so many horrible opinions about baseball and the blue jays on the streetcar ride home from the game that i debated starting a blog called "overheard at rogers centre." it would feature a post at the end of each homestand in which i shared and mocked the most ridiculous things i overheard fans say at (or after) games.

wednesday may 25

2011-05-27T22:06:00.000-04:00

today i wrote this missed connection.

tuesday may 24

2011-05-25T22:03:00.000-04:00

today i overhead someone earnestly say "bless me" after they sneezed. for whatever reason, this struck me as very unusual, as if post-sneeze blessings could only be bestowed on you by someone other than yourself.

monday may 23

2011-05-25T21:54:00.000-04:00

today i was sitting in my house when i heard two sounds coming from outside. the first was the repeated explosion of fireworks, in honour of victoria day. the second was the jaunty melody of the neighbourhood ice cream truck coming down the street. the juxtaposition of the two noises made it sound as if some sort of bizarre horror movie was being filmed outside.

sunday may 22

2011-05-23T22:06:00.000-04:00

today i stopped by ali baba's on my way home from a barbeque at about 1 am -- late saturday night, early sunday morning. glancing at the specials before i came in, i noticed i was much more interested in the sunday one (discount on two shawarmas) than saturday's (discount on two platters). so before i ordered, i asked if, since it was technically sunday, i could get that discount. the ali baba's employee chuckled heartily and got his co-worker's attention so he could repeat my request. then they both had another chuckle and the first guy turned back to me and was like "no." i didn't think it was that ridiculous a question.

saturday may 21

2011-05-23T22:02:00.001-04:00

today i was walking down college street with a friend, heading for a barbeque. suddenly, the bottom of his six-pack of beer gave way and an instant later, college was a mess of broken glass and beer. although the beer/money lost and the mess we'd made in such a public location was a real bummer, the most exceptional thing about the incident to me was that only three of the six beers broke when they hit the ground. half of them survived! silver lining.

friday may 20

2011-05-23T21:55:00.000-04:00

today i witnessed, for the first time ever, a friend get kicked out of a blue jays game.

thursday may 19

2011-05-23T21:51:00.001-04:00

today i failed to go a blue jays home game when i was in toronto and not working, for the first time all year. in my absence, my friends, including the one who borrowed my season pass, got on the jumbotron for the first time of the season.

wednesday may 18

2011-05-23T17:35:00.000-04:00

today i passed a guy holding his four-year-old daughter by the hand as they walked through dufferin mall. he was wearing a t-shirt that read "el gay es el" with an image of a finger pointing off to the left.

tuesday may 17

2011-05-23T17:33:00.000-04:00

today i let a girl who asked to use my toothbrush do so, in an effort to seem like a cool, easy-going guy. mere hours later, i bought a new toothbrush.

monday may 16

2011-05-23T17:27:00.001-04:00

today i attended the donald glover show at the opera house. having arrived about two minutes before the show got underway, we didn't have time to pick and choose an optimal standing spot, meaning we ended up right by the stairs that people were using to come and go as they pushed through the sold-out crowd. in most cases, this was just annoying, but one crowd-pusher just made me sad -- a guy who looked like he weighed about 300 pounds snaked his way through the mass of bodies toward the bathroom at one point and came back the other way about five minutes later. mumbling "almost there" as he approached us during his return trip, it looked as if he'd sweat about a gallon in the last five minutes. as he pushed his way by us, he said "i'm so sorry" with such anguish that you'd have thought he just ran over our puppies with his car.

sunday may 15

2011-05-20T01:10:00.001-04:00

today i was waiting in line at the bus station when the guy behind me in line asked me if i could watch his bag for a minute. sure, no problem, i said. not that i was about to run down anyone who tried to jack his bags, but that seemed pretty unlikely. he walked away from the line with a friend for a smoke break, and a couple minutes later, a potential problem arose -- the bus was about to start boarding. as the greyhound staff prepared to take tickets, i debated what to do. did i stand there next to his bag as everyone passed me in line? did i just leave it behind? did i drag it up to the front of the line with me and leave it next to the staff so they could watch it? fortunately, just as passengers began to board, the guy returned from smoking and saved me from making a big decision. i still don't know what i would've done.

saturday may 14

2011-05-20T01:02:00.000-04:00

today i watched a man who appeared to be mentally handicapped perform a karaoke version of lady gaga's "bad romance."

friday may 13

2011-05-20T00:59:00.000-04:00

today i had a london friend pick me up a six-pack of mill st. organic, since my bus was getting into town too late to stop at the beer store. upon my arrival, everything seemed to be going smoothly -- i broke the seal on the six-pack, drank the first couple, and then noticed something weird. in addition to my two empties on the counter, there were only three beers left in the box. convinced i misplaced one or my friend had borrowed one, i searched high and low for the sixth beer, but never found it. while eventually i came to realized that the six-pack must really have only been a five-pack, it took a while for me to trust my own eyes and logic more than i blindly trusted mill street not to make such a mistake.

thursday may 12

2011-05-20T00:53:00.002-04:00

today i went out for dinner with a friend and had the same thing to eat as she did. even though i'd decided first that i was going to order that particular entree, i let her order first to make it seem like i was the one copying her. it was the nicest thing i did all day, i think.

wednesday may 11

2011-05-20T00:43:00.001-04:00

today i attended the blue jays/red sox game and for much of the game was enjoying the razzing that the few red sox fans in our section were getting. a few comments here and there. some harmless taunting. it was all good. until at one point later in the game, as the sox fans stood up and invited the section to boo them, one idiot from way up above decided it was a good idea to throw a soda at them. rather than hitting the sox fans, it hit an old couple sitting nearby, inspiring the old guy to spring up, turn around, and yell up at the culprit with a vigour that he probably hadn't displayed in months.

tuesday may 10

2011-05-20T00:39:00.001-04:00

today i came across the name "bethany wild" on an application at work. in a tweet i was pretty pleased with, i said that if you were bethany wild's kid, you could tell people you were "born to b. wild." no one acknowledged it. twitter is tough sometimes.

monday may 9

2011-05-20T00:28:00.001-04:00

today i was sitting at my cubicle when i noticed some oohs and ahhs coming from some of my nearby coworkers. surreptitiously glancing around to see what was going on, i was dismayed to see the boss bringing his four-month-old grandchild on an office tour, drawing "awwwws" everywhere he went. knowing i'd be unable to muster much enthusiasm about looking at a baby, i hoped he'd avoid stopping at my cubicle during the tour. when the boss finally came by, he non-chalantly said "hey luke," causing me to look over and see the baby in his arms. pretending i was realizing for the first time that there was a baby in the office, i let loose a "how about that" chuckle as if i'd just heard an interesting piece of trivia. fortunately, he quickly moved on to the next cubicle, sparing me from having to come up with any more to say than that.

sunday may 8

2011-05-20T00:20:00.001-04:00

today i was making the late-night walk home with my roommate, both of us wearing blue jays caps, when the driver of a passing suv opened his window and yelled "BLUE JAYS SUCK!" at us. as he sped off, there was little hope of getting in any sort of retort, meaning the best i could hope for was that he'd get arrested for a dui later in the night.

saturday may 7

2011-05-08T22:35:00.000-04:00

today i attended justin verlander's no-hitter against the blue jays at the rogers centre. the only thing my friends and i spent more time talking about during the game than the no-hitter was the question of who was inside the "junior" mascot costume. while one friend was convinced it had to be a little person, my roommate and i argued that it was entirely possible it was a child with precocious dancing ability.

friday may 6

2011-05-08T22:32:00.002-04:00

today i was walking through the set of double doors that lead from finch subway station to my office building. the girl in front of me, having already walked through the first set of doors, approached the second set and attempted to pull them open -- they're push-open doors. i guess at some point during the five seconds it takes to walk from the first set of doors to the second, she'd entirely forgotten that she pushed the first time.

thursday may 5

2011-05-08T22:17:00.000-04:00

today i sat across from a girl on the subway on the way to work. from the first moment i looked at her until she eventually got off, she was smiling. not at me. not really at anyone. just a big smile on her face, as if she was replaying some hilarious joke in her head and trying not to laugh out loud at it. it was extremely unnerving. no one ever smiles on the morning subway.

wednesday may 4

2011-05-05T07:44:00.002-04:00

today i nearly stepped on a dead bird while walking along bloor street. the bird corpse lay on its side next to the curb, one eye staring lifelessly upward at the sky through which it would never soar again.

tuesday may 3

2011-05-03T20:34:00.001-04:00

today i sat on the subway and watched as a woman called after a guy who was about to get off at eglinton station. apparently he'd forgotten his umbrella on his seat, and her warning allowed him to grab it in time. just before the doors closed, he turned back to her, held up the umbrella and proclaimed "there IS a god!" i get that he was happy about not losing his umbrella and all, but that seems like an odd little incident to view as proof of a higher entity.

monday may 2

2011-05-03T20:32:00.001-04:00

today i was told that i'd be sharing my cubicle at work with a "summer student" starting tomorrow. after a computer was set up on the opposite end of my desk for this new employee, i glanced over and noticed that the hard drive, which had been salvaged from the supply closet, had a note taped to its side that read "hd dead." looking forward to seeing how long it takes to find that note or just to confirm its message tomorrow.

sunday may 1

2011-05-03T20:28:00.001-04:00

today i fished my most recent pay stub out of the trash in preparation to prove my identity at the polling station tomorrow. i had sort of slid it down the side when i put it in my garbage can -- and anyway, the grossest things in there were snotty kleenexes, so it was ultimately okay, i think.

saturday april 30

2011-05-03T20:21:00.001-04:00

today i got a text at about 8:30 or 9 pm from a friend asking what i was doing tonight. i replied that i was just eating takeout and having a beer alone. i expected this reply to elicit some sympathy, or at least an invite to whatever she was doing. instead, she replied "lol" and i didn't hear from her the rest of the night.

friday april 29

2011-04-30T18:00:00.000-04:00

today i decided to stop at the lcbo on the way to a friend's house, rather than going to the beer store beforehand. though the beer store is a little more geographically convenient for me, i had an lcbo gift card that i hadn't used in the few weeks since receiving it, so i figured it was time to put a chunk in it. i went to the lcbo, bought some beers, went to my friend's house, and didn't realize until hours later that i'd never taken the gift card out of my pocket, paying with cash instead.

thursday april 28

2011-04-29T17:58:00.000-04:00

today i got far too much amusement out of accidentally typing "fran's mastectomy boutique" as "frank's mastectomy boutique" at work.

wednesday april 27

2011-04-29T17:53:00.000-04:00

today i attended a learning session on facial and ocular prosthesis at work. during the session, the lecturers passed around some samples of things they work with -- fake noses, eyes, etc. since i was sitting in the corner of the front row, these items all eventually came back around to me, as the session was winding down. i decided to wait the minute or two until they wrapped up to return the stuff, which left me to hold a fake face in my hands for a little longer than i would've liked.

tuesday april 26

2011-04-27T20:17:00.002-04:00

today i got to the office and found that the software we typically use for all of our work wasn't opening properly. curious to see if it was a problem with my computer or the entire network, i popped my head over the cubicle wall to ask the girl sitting next to me if things were working for her. right before i asked, however, i realized that, having just returned from a four-day weekend, we should probably make a little small talk first before jumping right into the nitty-gritty. unfortunately, while my mouth made the necessary adjustment in time and said the right words, my brain hadn't yet processed the necessary shift in tone (from formal to casual). the result was me sounding like i really NEEDED to know how her weekend was, which cast a sort of uncomfortable shadow over the rest of the conversation.

monday april 25

2011-04-27T20:14:00.002-04:00

today i took the bloor subway home from st. george to lansdowne. not paying much attention to my surroundings, it wasn't until i got up to get off at my stop that i noticed the couple sitting across the aisle from me. on the seat in front of them, they'd placed a bunch of shopping bags and such. one of the bags, though, was just an upside-down, empty popcorn bag -- and as i walked toward the subway door, i noticed it moving. weird, i thought, but probably just a result of the subway rocking back and forth, right? WRONG. glancing back once more before i got off the car, i saw that they'd lifted up the bag, revealing a small, live turtle on the seat. i'd sat across from it for five stops without noticing.

sunday april 24

2011-04-27T20:10:00.002-04:00

today i was sitting on the runt club patio at about 2:30 am, finishing off my last bit of beer. the inside of the bar had gone dark and was presumably on the verge of closing, with last call having happened about 45 minutes earlier. however, this didn't stop a group of three drunk guys from excitedly running up to the patio and taking a seat, clearly under the mistaken impression that the bar was still hoppping and someone would be out to take their order any minute now.

saturday april 23

2011-04-27T19:58:00.002-04:00

today i was walking down richmond row in london with a friend when a guy appeared seemingly from nowhere and asked if he could walk with us. for the next two blocks, he chattered away enthusiastically about his just-finished school year, his last exam (for a "bird" course), and his plans to meet his friends at jim bob's. he was like a big, dumb dog bounding up the sidewalk, in awe of all the people around him to play with.

friday april 22

2011-04-24T19:41:00.001-04:00

today i was walking up margueretta toward the subway when i thought i heard singing. i looked up toward the intersection and, sure enough, saw a group of people in capes rounding bloor and turning onto my street, singing in unison. after briefly thinking that they were engaged in some sort of protest against the house of lancaster, i realized that this was some sort of good friday ceremony. there were about 60 of them, young and old, walking down the street wearing these capes and singing -- sometimes the front half would do a call and the back half would do a response! it was something to see, even though i still have no idea what the purpose was.

thursday april 21

2011-04-24T19:39:00.000-04:00

today i went to make some toast and found two pieces of bread already in the toaster. considering both my roommates had left for easter weekend no less than eight hours earlier, i was a bit bothered by the presence of this mystery toast. though admittedly not as bothered as i would've been if it were still warm.

wednesday april 20

2011-04-24T19:35:00.000-04:00

today i attended the blue jays game and watched as an annoying dude stood at the bottom of our section and attempted to start the wave for a good three or four minutes. even if WERE a supporter of the wave (i'm not) or if he were doing a good job at getting it started (he wasn't), i still would've been somewhat irritated. finally he got so awful that i, of all people, yelled "SIT DOWN!" at him. i hate yelling!

tuesday april 19

2011-04-24T19:29:00.000-04:00

today i was walking down college street when my friends and i were stopped by a group of french people asking for a light. my friend provided the light and then made some small talk in french for a minute. at one point i thought the french girl he was talking to gestured in my direction, but all i could do was stand there with a stupid grin on my face and wonder why i took french through grade 12 when i barely understand any of it anymore.