monday june 20

today i bought two grapefruits at the grocery store. i was under the impression that they were sorta pale-looking oranges. i don't even like grapefruit.

sunday june 19

today i had brunch with my parents, my cousin, and my cousin's family (her husband and their three kids). twice during the course of the meal, my cousin, who lives a few blocks away from me, suggested that they should have me over for a barbecue this summer. she made this same suggestion last summer. and each time she posed the idea today, she made a vague comment about "having to get my number," though she didn't ask for it either time. given how much her children (three boys, ages two, four, and seven) terrified me, i'm perfectly okay with it not happening.

saturday june 18

today i wore my headphones for nearly the entire greyhound trip from toronto to london. the only times i rode in silence were in between albums or when my ears needed a break for a couple minutes. in these moments, i was bombarded by the incessant and inane conversation of a guy and a girl a couple rows back. even if i'd wanted to ride in silence, or maybe read a book, i couldn't have done it, because i would've just heard their entire dialogue and been driven crazy. as we pulled into the station in london and i took off my headphones for good, i heard the guy say to the girl, "that's what you need to do on the bus! find someone to talk to and it just flies by!" while this may have been the case for them, i doubt my ipod-less bus neighbours felt the same way.

friday june 17

today i had a post-work nap that lasted a little longer than i expected. when i woke up, i heard an unfamiliar voice in the house. a few minutes later, i heard that voice coming a little closer, and realized that my roommate was giving one of his friends a tour of our place. as they passed by my closed door, i heard him say "luke's probably sleeping." while this was, of course, not the case, i'd been too lazy to put on any pants yet, which i didn't exactly want to announce. i made as little noise as possible, feigning sleep, until i heard them go back downstairs.

thursday june 16

today i went to richmond hill to see a friend's play. i arrived about 15 minutes before the doors of the theatre opened, but didn't have anything else to do, so i hung around the parking lot. with the sun blazing down, i looked for a bit of shade, and walked to the far side of the parking lot, where there was a bit of grass and a few trees. still wearing my work clothes, i decided not to sit down on the grass, meaning i sort of awkwardly leaned against the tree while i waited for the 7:15 doors. as uncomfortable as this was, my discomfort increased even more when someone drove up and parked in the spot right next to me -- again, this was the opposite side of the parking lot, as far as you could get from the theatre. we were pretty much the only two people on the corner, and we were about ten feet apart, both just standing/sitting there. i don't know where i was going with this. it was just weird.

wednesday june 15

today i overheard a co-worker tell the person sitting in the cubicle next to mine that today was her last day and she was heading out. although i didn't even recognize the voice, or know that anyone was quitting today, i was able to deduce who it was by noticing the direction she'd walked in and the fact that she didn't say anything to me. no big loss.

tuesday june 14

today i went to the ossington for my roommate's birthday. at one point, when there were maybe 20 to 25 people in the bar, i noticed a group of three girls whispering to one another and pointing toward our table. i didn't think much of it, anticipating that, if anything, maybe they'd come over and start talking to us. so it caught me by surprise when, a minute later, one of the girls walked over to the table, jumped up and top of it, and proceeded to dance there for the next 20 seconds before hopping off.


monday june 13

today i went to subway for lunch and watched the old couple in front of me take about 45 seconds to decide which sauce they wanted to put on their shared sandwich.

sunday june 12

today i went to hurricanes to watch game 6 of the nba finals. although i tried to recruit a handful of friends to join me, none ended up taking me on the offer. so i went in hoping to score a seat at the bar, where sitting by myself wouldn't be as noticeable or as problematic. however, when i walked in, there were no empty seats at the bar. reluctantly, i grabbed a table in the corner that would have comfortably seated two, and uncomfortably seated three. i sat there for the next three hours, as the bar filled up and plenty of groups walked in and out, not seeing any open tables. by the end of the night i was feeling so guilty about commandeering a table on my own that i tipped my server 45% on my bill in an attempt to make up for it.

saturday june 11

today i woke up at 8:00 am to ensure that when i called my dad to wish him a happy birthday, he'd be home. after passing along my groggy birthday wishes, i went back to bed for another three hours.

friday june 10

today i drank beers in the following places: a streetcar stop, on the streetcar, on college street, on margueretta street, and on the subway. i didn't drink any in an actual bar.


thursday june 9

today i went to a different ali baba's than my usual neighbourhood location to pick up a shawarma. when i made my usual order -- a chicken shawarma with everything except turnips on it -- i was met with resistance. "are you sure?" the guy behind the counter asked, gesturing to the turnip pile. "they're really good!" i laughed and said i'd tried them before and i just wasn't a fan, at which point he picked up a thing of turnip and held it out to me. "here, try it," he said. not seeing a way out of the taste test, i took a bite as he prepared my sandwich. "just not my thing!" i exclaimed, still holding the half-eaten turnip, terrified that he'd overrule me and throw a few in anyway. thankfully, he backed off as i ate the rest of the turnip, not really enjoying it.

wednesday june 8

today i sat down in the subway after work and noticed that a subway token was sitting on the seat in front of me. as someone with a metropass, the free token didn't appeal much to me, but i was curious to see how the situation would play out. would the person who eventually sat in that seat just pick it up and keep it, or would some passerby who was heading for another seat notice it and pick it up on the way? my curiousity was squashed a moment later, when a guy sat right on the token without realizing it was there. when he got up two stops later, it was gone. i guess it stuck to his pants or something?


tuesday june 7

today i went to the td branch in my office building at lunch to deposit a cheque. the teller was friendlier than usual, making small talk about the london address on my account, as well as my two first names. after making my deposit, i was about to take off when she asked (referring, i guess, to her own performance): "how was the service today?" "good!" i replied, truthfully. "please recommend us!" she called after me as i walked away. this last bit left me a little confused. was i supposed to be recommending td in general, or this branch specifically? did they expect me to go tell my friends "you'll never guess what happened to me today at that bank!" or was this the sort of thing that i was just expected to throw in if i happened to partake in a conversation where, say, another friend complained about his bank. ultimately, i felt like this imposition destroyed all the good will the teller had built up over the course of the transaction.


monday june 6

today i was on the subway when it came to a stop at a station along the yonge line. glancing out the window, i noticed an advertisement on the wall which was partially obscured by the subway car. i'm not sure which company or product was being advertised, but this is how it read, line by line:

if we took
any more care
of you we'd be
tucking you

this is the partial version i saw, which caused me to do a double-take:

we took
more care
we'd be
ucking you


sunday june 5

today i was doing laundry when star wars: episode i - the phantom menace came on the laundromat's tv. another guy walked in a few minutes later, watched a scene or two, then asked me if i knew which installment of the star wars series it was. i answered and we exchanged a couple jokes about how bad phantom menace is. then he said: "i've been watching all the old chinese ones lately." i looked at him blankly, thinking he was talking about some sort of chinese version of star wars. "they just ripped off everything from those anyway," he continued, before noticing his clothes had finished drying and ending the conversation. i'm still not entirely sure what he was talking about.

saturday june 4

today i was hanging out at my place with a few friends. the hockey game had just ended, but it was still early, so we put on some music to fill the silence. since my laptop and speakers were in the room next to where we were hanging out, i threw a bunch of tracks on a playlist to avoid constantly going back and forth between rooms to pick new songs. however, shortly after putting together this playlist, most of the girls took off. the resulting roomful of dudes meant that the playlist needed to be revamped -- i quickly headed back to my room to make the appropriate modifications when the first notes of britney spears' "till the world ends" played.

friday june 3

today i spent my lunch hour participating in a 32-person charity ping pong tournament at work. while it was the first time i'd played in over five years, i still managed to get off to a good start, winning my first two matchups to earn a spot in the 'elite eight.' however, at this point, i ran into a player so good that i didn't even score a single point en route to being eliminated. with dozens of people standing around the table watching the blowout unfold, probably wondering how a fraud like me made it to the third round, i left the tournament feeling too embarrassed to ever show my face on the 15th floor again.

thursday june 2

today i was getting lunch at mr. sub when i overheard a guy talking on the phone while he held a $10 bill. "it's fake!" he was telling the person on the other end of the call, referring to the $10 bill. "they told me it was fake!" i wasn't sure what was more interesting about this -- the fact that this fake $10 bill (which i glanced it) was convincing enough to make this guy think it was real, the fact that mr. sub paid enough attention to catch it, or the fact that the incident prompted the guy to make a phone call, as if it was the only money he had and he needed someone to come buy him a sandwich.

wednesday june 1

today i saw a guy wearing a suit and tie eating two giant freezies as he waited for the subway after work.

tuesday may 31

today i debated going to opera bob's to watch the blue jays game, and eventually decided against it, when the team fell behind early and i couldn't recruit any friends to come with me. an hour or two later, i got a text from a friend telling me that twilight's robert pattinson was at the lakeview, approximately 30 feet from opera bob's. opportunity missed!!!