wednesday may 30

today i had x-rays taken of something besides my crooked spine for the first time that i could remember, and was inexplicably excited about it.

tuesday may 29

today i took a bus across the city for a doctor's appointment. the appointment itself lasted less than five minutes, but the sheer amount of time i was on the bus allowed me to read approximately one-third of haruki murakami's sputnik sweetheart.

monday may 28

today i played catch with a friend. the park we played in was on the smallish side, so we were throwing the ball across a sidewalk- or pathway-type construction. after a few minutes, a gym teacher came into the park with some young tykes, intending to run laps around the park using this pathway. rather than asking us if we could move our positions a little, he began instructing the kids to avoid getting hit by a flying baseball while running. whether this was meant as a legitimate, earnest warning, or was just a way to subtly encourage us to move, it worked as the latter. i don't want kiddie blood on my hands.

sunday may 27

today i looked out my window and noticed two birds on the roof outside, scarcely five or ten feet away from me! the birds went at each other very violently, and for a time i wasn't sure if they were 'mating' or if perhaps they were fighting to the death. at one point it seemed that one was trying to eat the other alive! after about 30 seconds of their antics on the roof though, one took off and flew away, the other hot on its tail. given the fact that they could each still fly with ease, i was left to assume that they were, in fact, just having sex after all, leaving me feeling slightly perverted for having watched their entire display.

saturday may 26

today i was informed by a health food expert, with little to no prompting, that i ought to remove all wheat and dairy from my diet or else i will probably get colon cancer by the time i turn 40.

friday may 25

today i was floating on my back in a friend's pool, ears submerged underwater. the tranquility of the noise underwater made me think of what an explosion of the senses it must be when fish jump out of the water. maybe that's why they do it, not just to entertain us!!

thursday may 24

today i ate strawberries and drank beer, topless.

wednesday may 23

today i received a phone call from a friend. "hey," i said. no response. "hello?" i asked, a little less confident in tone this time. no response, though i could hear some faint conversation in the background. "hello??" i asked a third time, increasingly inquisitive. no response except for the background conversation. i closed my phone, confused, and then worried later that perhaps i was surreptitiously called in order for me to hear the conversation going on in the room, and had foolishly blown my chance at doing so by hanging up so quickly!!

tuesday may 22

today i bought a 12-pack of alexander keith's beer and carried it the three blocks back to my house. while the case was cumbersome and rather heavy, i insisted on carrying it one-handed, rather than two-handed, because a two-handed grip makes walking awkward and the case often bumps into my junk. however, by the end of the walk, the one-handed grip had put such strain on the case that the cardboard had stretched and ripped to the point where another two blocks of walking likely would've sent my beer careening all over the sidewalk.

monday may 21

today i attempted to 'sell out' and incorporate something into my blog called: google adsense. it would put advertisements on my blog and make me money when people clicked on them, as they undoubtedly would! but then things got messed up when i upgraded my blog's design and now every time i try to include adsense, i get an error message. so i have decided to stay true to my roots and not sell out, reluctantly.

sunday may 20

today i required step by step instructions on how to properly wash lettuce.

saturday may 19

today i participated, if not actively, then at least on some level, the purchase and playing of the board game: dream phone.

friday may 18

today i saw a church sign that read: "lookinng [sic] for god on facebook."

thursday may 17

today i bought new clothes in order to ensure that i could put off doing my laundry for a couple extra days.

wednesday may 16

today i feigned busyness in the lobby of my friend's apartment building for approximately two minutes, in hopes that someone with a key or perhaps someone with a friend who has a functional buzzer would let me in. when someone finally did, it was a domino's pizza delivery man, and i ended up spending 12 floors in an elevator with him and a pizza that smelled delicious. the experience had such an impact that a phone call and an hour later, i was eating domino's pizza myself.

tuesday may 15

today i was lying on the beach when i felt a little water hit my arm. i looked up, thinking that maybe some swimmers had come back to shore and were dripping on me, but no it had started to rain! as the droplets grew larger and more frequent, i panicked, thinking that a sudden storm was about to start and i would get soaked. i threw my towel over my head and began to frantically look around to see what needed to be covered, only to realize that the rain had stopped, 20 seconds later.

monday may 14

today i went to the library to get myself some books, after finding myself resorting to an issue of cosmopolitan magazine that was lying around the house (and discovering surprising sex tips!) just one too many times.

sunday may 13

today i came a doorstop away from participating in a photoshoot in a public porta-potty.

saturday may 12

today i saw, for the first time in approximately 10 years, a toy soccer ball from my childhood. it had been lost one day while my brother and i were 'horsing around' and despite us both being in the same room as the fateful errant throw, we'd never found it for those 10 years (though admittedly the final 9 years, 11 months, 29 days or so involved fairly half-hearted searching) -- until yesterday, when it materialized beneath my bedside table, while my dad was undoubtedly clearing the room out to rent it.

friday may 11

today i went to my local cinema to see the film: spiderman 3. while i was not exactly seeing schnidler's list, and i'm no hardcore stickler for theatre etiquette, a group of girls sitting in the back row of the theatre was so ridiculously loud -- speaking not in whispers or regular voices, but rather "playground voices" to ensure being heard over even the exciting action scenes! -- that i'm 100% positive that, were the gang-mob mentality more acceptable in these parts, they would've been tarred and feathered by film's end.

thursday may 10

today i walked downtown intending to buy groceries but returned home two hours later with only a block of cheddar cheese.

wednesday may 9

today i received a facebook friend request from my mom.

tuesday may 8

today i probably showed up in the background of approximately 15 photographs that a couple in front of me at the lcd soundsystem show took between dancing, including multiple kissing shots.

monday may 7

today i went to get on a 17-oxford west bus, only to have the driver tell me that it was "out of service." in a moment reminiscent of a scene from arrested development episode "pier pressure" ("now we wait" "how long?" "who knows. an hour... maybe five--" "DRUG DELIVERY!"), the driver instructed me to find some other way to travel, making it sound like he'd be waiting hours for a mechanic. i walked across the street, about a block away, to a nearby stop for a different bus, then watched as the mechanic showed up within five minutes and the bus departed shortly thereafter. this left me standing there waiting for the next bus while some baseball-cap-wearing dudes across the road blasted obie trice songs from their stationary pickup truck.

sunday may 6

today i napped for four hours in the afternoon. however, for the first half-hour of the nap, i was in and out of such a light sleep that at one point i thought i was awake, with my eyes open, and heard music coming from my bedside radio. but when i reached for the radio to turn it off (now fully awake), the music was gone -- never there in the first place, really!!

saturday may 5

today i went to get my hair cut and encountered the exact same family (four boys and their dad) that was ahead of me the last time i got my hair cut. this time around, i learned that the boys were 5, 5, 6, and 10 years old, and they seemed to be handling the haircuts better this time! no tears, though there was some mild pouting. next time i will learn their names.

friday may 4

today i spent more on clothes than i had in the last year combined.

thursday may 3

today i fully realized for the first time that i'm not going to win out over my poor-hearing genes and will probably be pretty much deaf by the time i'm 40.

wednesday may 2

today i realized that my favourite bar has new bartenders, new cups and new beer on tap. i couldn't figure out if this was a sign i'm there too often, for noticing all these things, or not often enough, for noticing all at once when the change was more likely gradual.

tuesday may 1

today i went to the library to renew my expired library card. the expiration of the card meant that i couldn't employ my usual tactic of continuously renewing my books online, every two or three weeks, to put off library visits as much as possible. it also meant that i had $4.80 in library fines, which was rather discouraging, considering i hadn't opened the delinquent books since early april.

monday april 30

today i realized that i had yet to cash $150 in birthday cheques, from over three weeks ago.