thursday august 30

today i was urged by a variety store employee, who dubbed himself "so fucked," to bring him back a jar of spare change, in exchange for bills, to compensate for the fact that he had run out of dimes and quarters.

wednesday august 29

today i had a peeping-tom paranoia realized when i entered my bathroom, only to notice, outside the window and against the building, a scaffold holding various workers, nearly at eye level.

tuesday august 28

today i became irritated upon failing two consecutive attempts to beat super mario brothers, despite the fact that i've done so many times, and the game's reward for beating it is rather underwhelming.

monday august 27

today i went to the store 'ikea' for the first time. my first act upon entering was not looking at furniture or other forms of houseware, but rather: going to their restaurant/cafe, and eating food.

sunday august 26

today i napped on a friend's couch while said friend napped in her bedroom. my nap was hindered by the fact that, for its entire duration, i was concerned that this friend's roommate, who i'd yet to meet, would come home. while i wasn't all that worried about her reaction to seeing a random stranger asleep on her couch, i was mildly concerned about falling into a deep sleep and then making my first impression on her with eyes half-open, hair askew, and drool rolling down my face. subsequently, my nap was off and on, and never very deep. afterwards, my friend remembered that her roommate wasn't coming home until tomorrow.

saturday august 25

today i spent approximately 12 hours moving a friend (and her possessions) from london to toronto.

friday august 24

today i went out for dinner and debated for at least five minutes (maybe seven) between two dishes, eventually landed on one, then ate too much complementary bread and barely finished half of my meal.

thursday august 23

today i reached into my bag of bread and pulled out two slices, intending to make a sandwich. when i grabbed the bread, however, the texture felt a little odd. i looked at them and saw that they were, in fact, covered in mold. this considerably diminished my appetitite, essentially providing the same purpose that eating the food itself would have anyway.

wednesday august 22

today i watched a friend drop multiple dimes into a fishtank in an attempt to land the coins in a target and win a free soft drink. it was not unlike watching someone repeatedly playing the slots and insisting that their payoff will come really soon.

tuesday august 21

today i heard a knock at my door and, expecting it to be my brother, casually called "hey! it's open!" when no response came, i got up and opened the door myself, only to find my landlord standing there. after a brief conversation, he left, and two minutes later, another knock came at the door. instinctively, i began calling the same response, but stopped myself after "hey!" just in case he'd forgotten something and come back. it was my brother.

monday august 20

today i dreamed that a friend stole my bag of six bagels from my freezer, not to eat them, but merely to throw them in the trash. when i awoke i felt overly protective of my grains and so guilty for not having eaten any of the bagels, despite them being in my freezer for a week, that i ate two of them over the course of the day.

sunday august 19

today i tired of a rug on the floor of my room, and, after folding it up, placed it under my desk. at least three times later on in the day, i inadvertently kicked or nudged the rug and mistakenly thought, for a split-second, that someone was under the desk.

saturday august 18

today i found this plant on my front porch:



while i have no idea why it's there, it seems as if it was clearly placed intentionally in the middle of the top step, so as not to be avoided, as if it were a gift from someone to me.

friday august 17

today i was thrilled to be able to cross off every task on my makeshift 'to do' list, despite the fact that most of these items were mundane two-minute tasks such as: 'clip fingernails' and 'change futon from bed to chair.'

thursday august 16

today i searched out some medication to take for the cold that had plagued me for the last day or two, and eventually found a small bottle of tylenol cold pills. i briefly read the side of the bottle, to determine the dosage, and was instructed to take one or two of the yellow tablets every four hours. upon opening the bottle, however, i was surprised to find that the tablets were not yellow, but rather a pinkish-red colour, and read 'advil' on the front. i took two anyway.

wednesday august 15

today i excitedly finished downloading, and watched, the first episode of a new season of weeds. i'd been waiting for weeks for august 13, the date of the season premiere. after i finished watching it, however, i discussed it briefly with a friend who informed that not only was the first episode available, but the first four episodes of the season had leaked online, not just this week, but weeks ago. my range of emotions upon finding out this information included: excitement that i'd get to immediately watch three more episodes; annoyance that i could have watched them for weeks and didn't know it; relief that i didn't know this fact and got to experience the build-up of anticipation, always an enjoyable experience; and regret that as these advance episodes aired one by one over the next few weeks, i'd have nothing new to watch unless more leaked before they aired. it all left me very confused and unsure of how i felt about the situation.

tuesday august 14

today i was finishing up my chiropractic appointment when my chiropractor, following a neck adjustment that was particularly resistant, turned to me and asked if i 'self-adjust' -- that is: pull, twist and turn my own neck to make it 'crack' or 'pop.' while i admittedly do this very frequently, the expression on his face when he posed the question gave me the impression that he felt such a habit was on par with a crack addiction, so i lied and said that i don't do anything like that.

monday august 13

today i went out for dinner with my grandparents. afterwards, my brother and i dropped them off at their place, and my grandfather hauled out an old bag of unused golf clubs to pass on to my brother. when we went to put them into our car, my brother struggled to fit the heavy, oversized bag properly into the trunk. i became so frustrated watching this display that when my grandfather called my brother away momentarily, to give him one more thing that he'd forgotten about before, i quickly jerked the bag of clubs to one side and slammed the trunk down, glad to have the task over with! when my brother returned to the car, however, he informed me of some rather sobering news: the keys to the car were now, in fact, locked in the trunk.

sunday august 12

today i was minding my own business, making small talk at a party, when a girl i didn't know came up and asked if anyone had seen a rat in the area. we, with some relief, said no. moments later, she asked again, if we were sure there was no rat around. we again said no, thinking the question awfully arbitrary. after another few moments, there was a commotion in a nearby part of the room, as a girl picked a rat up from under a chair and began feeding it watermelon. i'm still unsure of whether this rodent was a 'pet' or not.

saturday august 11

today i spent so much time swaying back and forth in my porch swing that, when i lay down at night to sleep, i experienced the fleeting sensation of a slight swinging motion.

friday august 10

today i dreamed that i was sitting at the bottom of a large incline, not unlike uc hill at western, but steeper. i was enjoying lunch with a couple friends when all of the sudden i noticed a group of people careening down the hill (it was icy). we were sitting against a wall and i knew that, at the speed they were coming, if i let them go, they'd crash headfirst into the wall and probably die or be paralyzed!! since they were all in close proximity and i have forearms like tree trunks (my dream okay?), i was able to singlehandedly grab them and bring them to a stop before they hit the wall. in the aftermath, i turned to one of my lunch buddies and commented, "that's 'one thing i did today,'" proving that i cannot even escape this blog in my dreams. all day i hoped that something would top it, but nothing did.

thursday august 9

today i was awakened by what i thought might be a knocking at my front door. often i'm awakened by 'phantom knocks' and since i'm always ill prepared, both mentally and physically, to face any knocker upon waking anyway, i let it go. after falling back asleep and waking at my own leisure later on, i opened the front door to see if any notes or other signs of visitors had been left. upon opening the door, i was nearly struck by the giant boxed porch swing that had been leaning against it since, presumably, the moment of the not-so-phantom knock.

wednesday august 8

today i experienced far too much joy when i realized that my box of frozen chicken strips, labeled "27 pieces," actually contained 30 strips, ultimately resulting in my squeezing an extra meal out of it.

tuesday august 7

today i missed arguably the biggest homerun of my lifetime, barry bonds' record-setting 756th, because i was playing spinal tap's "tonight i'm gonna rock you tonight" in guitar hero 2.

monday august 6

today i sprinted four blocks down waterloo street after receiving notice that a pizza delivery man with my pizza had, in fact, arrived at the building i was still four blocks away from.

sunday august 5

today i was in the middle of the usual act of throwing one's hands in the air along to the beat during a daft punk concert, when i began to wonder which technique was more 'correct': an open palm, a closed fist, or one finger to the sky. unable to decide on just one, i employed a constantly rotating combination of the three for the remainder of the show.

saturday august 4

today i ate a petal of a rose.

friday august 3

today i went to the beer store to buy some beer. it was a friday evening and the place was moderately bustling. i was asked for my order before coming up to the counter to pay, and in fact before it was even my turn in line, leading to my beer being sent out amidst the haul from the guy in front of me: an order worth $259 and change, said the cash register. after finally getting up to the counter and paying, i turned to grab my case from the conveyor belt, only to find it had disappeared from the spot where it had been sent out. i immediately begin searching the quickly growing cart of cases that housed the $259 (and change) order, thinking that he'd attempted to sneak my beer in there along with all of his -- who would notice!! not seeing it there, i turned back to the counter, on the verge of asking for another case to be sent out for me, when i noticed mine had been moved to the counter, approximately eight inches from where i was standing when i paid for it.

thursday august 2

today i witnessed a girl playing with a yo-yo at call the office.

wednesday august 1

today i casually used the word 'ated' in conversation as if it were the past tense of 'to eat,' and wasn't aware of the fact that i'd made a mistake until a few seconds later.

tuesday july 31

today i arrived home after eating a fulfilling and delicious dinner with my grandparents. when i opened the door of my house and entered the 'lobby' area, i was overwhelmed with the smell of another meal being made -- the aroma of cooking vegetables wafted through the air and i was suddenly, briefly convinced that someone had broken into my house and was making me dinner. despite the fact that i'd just eaten and that this hypothesis would place the security of my living quarters under question, i was very pleased with this notion. as i walked up the stairs and approached my front door, however, the odor drifted away, replaced by the uninteresting smell of my own house, and it became clear that my neighbours living below me were cooking dinner, presumably not for me.