2/29/2020

tuesday february 25

today i decided to resume blogging. not every day, but every now and then, when something good(??) happens.

after making this decision, i recalled that i still had a bunch of draft entries from march 2016 that i never published. for some reason, i decided to re-read these to see if any would still be worth posting, which meant i got to relive these two moments of embarrassment that i hadn't though about in years and would have been happy to have forgotten entirely:



tuesday march 22, 2016
today i went scrolling through a friend's instagram feed in search of an old photo from a year or two ago that i was in. on my way back through her photos, i ended up accidentally liking one of them from about nine months ago. mortified, i sat there frozen for a few seconds before clicking it again to unlike it. if it had just been a matter of me liking a random photo from months ago, it would be bad enough, but the fact that it was a selfie made it exponentially worse, since i expected that if/when she saw my like, she'd immediately assume i was sitting there jerking off to this old photo of her. to top it off, she ended up not even having taken the photo i was originally looking for — i found it on another friend’s instagram.



sunday april 3, 2016
today i went to duffy’s for the blue jays home opener. when our server came to get my drink order, we had the following conversation:

me: "are there any drinks specials today?"
her: "cool."
me (confused): "sorry, i asked if there are any drink specials today?"
her: "yeah. cool."
me: "..."
her: "cool beer."
me: "oh, haha, okay, i’ll have one of those then."
me (thinking): she couldn’t have said "cool beer" or "cool is only five bucks" to begin with instead of just saying "cool" like some sort of agent of chaos?

1 comment:

neweydewey said...

who jerks off to instagram?