thursday july 19

today i found out that a former colleague of mine at stylus magazine won a $250,000 prize on the television show: world series of pop culture.

wednesday july 18

today i sang along to the bridge of dan deacon's "snake mistakes" approximately 20 times in a row in an attempt to nail every word in a refrain where not a single half-beat is allotted for breathing.

tuesday july 17

today i put off my back-in-the-country grocery shopping for another day and got by on meals consisting solely of cereal and peanut butter and jam sandwiches.

monday july 16

today i arrived home at my place after being out of the country for five days and noticed, as i was entering, a note slid under my door. i initially expected it to be something from my landlord or perhaps the neighbours living below me, and instead found the following message: "dear luke, we came by to fuck you but you weren't here. love, tara and michelle."

sunday july 15

today i assisted in teaching the meaning of the word 'dink' to a chicago cab driver.

saturday july 14

today i stood next to a group of kids as they created and performed an extensive dance routine during a professor murder set.

friday july 13

today i witnessed a rap performance in which the number of black men onstage more than doubled the amount of black men i could spot in my general section of the tightly packed audience.

thursday july 12

today i waited in a parked car on a chicago street while an acquaintance visited a nearby house to see a large man named leno about buying drugs.

wednesday july 11

today i ran through the sprinklers in victoria park at approximately 2:30 am.

tuesday july 10

today i witnessed the following things within the span of five minutes at dundas and richmond:

a. a middle-aged woman observing to no one in particular that the 12-wharncliffe bus was due in four minutes, then rooting "come on wharncliffe!!" and clapping boisterously upon its arrival, as if it were a race horse that she'd bet on to win.
b. a man sporting a t-shirt that read, below a picture of a dog: "sparky 2000-2004, i miss you boy."
c. a guy with both a rattail and a hot girlfriend.

monday july 9

today i spent some time using two computers at the same time, so that i could quickly switch to the second one when the first one crashed, without having to wait for the two-minute restart process.

sunday july 8

today i dreamt that i received a voicemail from an indian man pretending to be avril lavigne.

saturday july 7

today i received such an overwhelming lack of response to an evening flurry of outgoing text messages that i began to wonder if my phone was even functioning properly; it was.

friday july 6

today i was about to use my bathroom with the bathroom door open and my front door unlocked, when i received a phone call from friends standing right outside my house and about to come in. this incident made me sufficiently paranoid about unexpected drop-ins that i intend to exercise proper bathroom-door etiquette from now on, despite the fact that i'm the only person living in my house.

thursday july 5

today i expressed opinions about hockey on the radio, despite the fact that i know so little about hockey that i could not even name three players on the toronto maple leafs.

wednesday july 4

today i earnestly compared a pair of hot-dog eating record setters to mark mcgwire's and sammy sosa's record-setting 1998 home run seasons, asking seriously which was the greater achievement on the spectrum of human existence.

tuesday july 3

today i watched the film saturday night fever for the first time, and was shocked to discover that it was not the feel-good dancing story that the soundtrack had suggested, but rather one filled with depressing twists and tragedy. though, admittedly, the dancing did still make me feel pretty good.

monday july 2

today i extensively discussed which disney character is the hottest for the second time this summer.

sunday july 1

today i intended to walk over to harris park to watch the 10:00 pm fireworks, but was dissuaded from pursuing this plan when i began to hear loud bangs coming from outside and looked at the clock, which read: 10:04.

saturday june 30

today i played a game of cranium in which one player described the character of dr. jekyl and mr. hyde as "a man with a phd... but also a lady that likes to wear leopard skin."