saturday november 8

today i advertised my girl talk ticket for sale on the facebook event for girl talk's upcoming toronto show. this posting eventually elicited eight responses, leading me to believe that not only could i have instigated a bidding war for the ticket, but that when the next sure-to-sell-out-but-not-in-two-seconds-like-radiohead show comes along, i should just buy up 5-10 tickets and eventually make a sweet profit. if only i had no conscience!!

friday november 7

today i was shopping at wal-mart when a fight broke out between three black women and an older white woman. while i didn't run over in time to see most of it, i heard the phrases "that is RACISM!" and "white trash BITCH!" being thrown about. after the fight was broken up, both parties walked past me, with the black women still talking about racism, followed by the white woman muttering that she hoped someone had called the cops on them.

thursday november 6

today i had a dream in which i carried my macbook (and itunes library) around with me while out walking on the streets, like people used to do with boomboxes. i was blasting "love lockdown," in the dream. i was so groggy when i woke up that i briefly thought this was a great idea.

wednesday november 5

today i was second in line at an lcbo cashier, behind what looked and smelled like a homeless man. he appeared to be buying two beers that came to a total of $4.80. as i stood there waiting my turn, he kept pulling small pieces of change -- nickels, dimes, and occasionally quarters -- out of his pockets, as the cashier kept informing him how short he was of the total ("a dollar," "80 cents," "65 cents," etc.) finally, after getting within 40 cents, the man stopped rifling through his pockets and the cashier glanced back at me and the growing line before mumbling "that's fine" and sending the man on his way with a discount.

tuesday november 4

today i decided, with the weather as nice as it was, that i'd walk to a friend's place a few kilometers away. not wanting to be overly early or late, i first google mapped the route to find out the distance between our houses, then looked up the wikipedia for 'walking' to find out the average walking speed of a human. despite my reseach, and a brief run-in and stop-and-talk with a friend along the way, i arrived 15 minutes early.

monday november 3

today i talked with (or, more accurately: listened to) our extremely anti-pets landlady for a few minutes in our house, while our cat stood a few feet away, with only a single door in between. i took in little of what the landlady said because the entire time i was focused on any sounds that might come from that room, and how i'd explain them.

sunday november 2

today i received a facebook friend request from my grandfather. weirder still is the fact that the 'interested in' section of his profile lists only 'men,' which is either him officially coming out, or a simple comprehension mix-up.

saturday november 1

today i was sitting on the bus at a stop, when i turned around to look out the window and was greeted by a guy dressed in a head-to-toe spider-man costume waving at me from a few feet away.

friday october 31

today i was walking home along bloor street, very early friday morning (or late thursday night, if you prefer), when a car drove by me. its stereo was blasting weezer's "say it ain't so" while its three male passengers pretty much hung out the windows, singing along so loudly that they nearly drowned out the song itself.

thursday october 30

today i went grocery shopping. i was in the vegetable section, having just picked out a couple of tomatoes, when my foot knocked up against a tomato that had previously fallen on the floor, sending it skidding a few feet away. the only other person in the area was an elderly lady, so i shot her a "tomatoes on the floor! what are you gonna do!" look, and went to pass her by, when she said "you should put that back." confused at what exactly she meant, i replied "pardon?" and she gestured towards the bin of tomatoes and repeated: "you should put it back in there." half-horrified and half-amused by the notion that i should put a tomato that had been sitting on the floor, kicked around by shoppers, back into the bin for someone else to buy it, i responded, "i don't think anyone will.... want it now...." before she interrupted grouchily: "well you're the one who knocked it over!" i started to explain that it had already been on the ground, but realizing this wouldn't do any good, i gave up and inched away from her and the vegetable section, while i heard her muttering something about people who don't pick up after themselves.

wednesday october 29

today i experienced my first household television power struggle, when the deciding game of the world series aired at the same time as the cw combination of america's next top model and stylista.

tuesday october 28

today i moved to toronto. officially. for good. fyi.

monday october 27

today i found a half sandwich in my pocket with no recollection of how it got there.

sunday october 26

today i had a conversation with my grandfather about downsizing and cutbacks in which he asked, quite seriously: "what i want to know is... when are the robots going to take over?"

saturday october 25

today i went into the phone store in the mall to get some information about different companies' phone plans and contracts. the employee that i talked to was very helpful and gave me a lot of good information and pamphlets. for the entire time that i should have been thinking about what plans would work best for me, though, i was thinking about her braces and trying to remember what a friend had recently told me her made-up term for "adult braces" was. bradults? no, not bradults.

friday october 24

today i was standing on the porch outside a house party when two guys who did not look like the party's target demographic walked up and excitedly asked, in indecipherable accents (east-coast canada meets england?) if it was "juicy in there," before going in.

thursday october 23

today i had my last episode of 'utility men' on chrw, before i move to toronto. the last words i spoke on the show, in the 'end zone' feature, involved halloween costume advice, in which i instructed listeners on how to dress up as a convincing larry johnson, running back of the kansas city chiefs. this advice involved telling people to find a girl at a bar, tell her boyfriend you're going to kill him, then throwing your drink in her face. in hindsight, i regret this 'end zone' -- not because of the offensive nature of my tips, but because i got the details a little wrong.

wednesday october 22

today i had my first casual (or rather: 'dress down') day at work. wearing a nice sweater and jeans in place of my usual dress shirt and pants, i was feeling pretty good about myself upon coming into work. looking good. the first two coworkers i encountered in the morning, however, immediately inquired as to why i wasn't wearing pink, since apparently doing so, in support of the canadian breast cancer foundation was encouraged. though this was quite impractical for me, considering my wardrobe, i felt slightly out of place for the rest of the day, as one of the only people in our office who was not wearing pink.

tuesday october 21

today i was referred to as "butch cassidy" on the radio.

monday october 20

today i was informed by a chatty and opinionated bus-goer at my downtown bus stop that the reason there was still so much construction happening in the streets of london was because "the right hand doesn't know what the left hand is doing, and the left hand isn't even attached to the body."