sunday february 14

today i discovered, a week after the fact, that the super bowl bet i’d made on "viva la vida" being the first song coldplay played during their halftime set had paid out, despite the fact that i’d assumed it was a loser, since chris martin opened the show by singing a couple bars of "yellow." my reaction to this realization was three-fold:

1. hmm, i guess that makes sense, since technically the bet was on the first song coldplay played, so maybe chris martin a cappella doesn’t count.
2. still, i’d be pissed if i’d bet on "yellow."
3. i can’t believe i bet on this and made $50.

saturday february 13

today i stopped in at the eaton centre to quickly buy a couple things, and was on my way out when i noticed a huge lineup of people outside champs sports. since it’s nba all-star weekend, i assumed there was some sort of nba-related appearance happening, but the throng of teens was so thick that i didn’t really feel like stopping and trying to peer through the crowd to see if could spot a player. after arriving home 45 minutes later, i looked up the day’s itinerary on champs' twitter and realized that i had most likely been within yelling distance of boogie cousins.

friday february 12

today i celebrated my one-year anniversary with my girlfriend, and for the first time in the 365 days that we’ve known one another, felt like the more worldly one at a restaurant, when i talked her into trying ceviche.

thursday february 11

today i went to hang out with a couple friends who were dj’ing at unlovable. when i arrived, i warned them that i couldn’t stay past midnight, since that’s when i’d turn into a pumpkin, which in retrospect i don’t think is right. need to brush up on my cinderella.

wednesday february 10

today i bought three different kinds of radlers at the beer store. just really need to find out which radler is my favourite so i’ll be ready for the summer, you know?

tuesday february 9

today i received an email from mlb advanced media informing me and my co-workers that the company intends to issue us work apparel for this year's mlb season, in the form of polo/golf-style shirts. the email asked for our shirt size, which sent me into internal deliberations for about the next 15 minutes.

on one hand, i pretty much always wear medium shirts, but i also buy most of my shirts from the same two or three stores, and what if these ones fit a little smaller and i have to spend the entire 2016 season wearing these tight polo shirts around the skydome like an out-of-shape version of john cena’s character from trainwreck? on the other hand, what if these shirts fit normally and i ask for large ones, then spend the season walking around looking like a kid wearing his dad’s clothes?

ultimately, i finally went with medium instead of large, figuring it was an aspirational choice. like, in my mind, i’ll spend the next two months trying to stay fit to ensure that i fit into this polo shirt, as if it’s a wedding dress or something.

monday february 8

today i was walking along richmond street behind three real slowpokes. this college-age group of two girls and a guy was hogging most of the sidewalk, making it impossible to pass them until no one was coming the other way, at which point we managed to sneak by them. less than a minute later, they suddenly decided that now they wanted to walk fast, abruptly speeding up and prompting my girlfriend to loudly ask "are you serious?" as they re-passed us.

sunday february 7

today i had a conversation with a friend in which we both hilariously misidentified kato kaelin’s role in the o.j. simpson saga, with me wondering if he was the guy who was in the car with o.j. during the bronco chase and my friend suggesting that he was one of o.j.’s defense lawyers. just a couple of misinformed millennials who really need to watch american crime story and/or made in america.

saturday february 6

today i found out that one of my best friends, who moved to london, england a year and a half ago, is getting married there later this year. when i heard the news, my first few thoughts, in some order, were:

1. oh no he’s never coming back.
2. hmm, i hope he schedules the wedding for when i was planning to visit, even though i haven’t told him yet when that will be.
3. wow great news, so happy for them!

friday february 5

today i went to use the bathroom at spirits bar and grill. having sat in a booth seat that made it sort of awkward to get out, i’d put off the bathroom visit for a little while, and really needed to go by the time i got to a urinal.

as i was standing there, i noticed a sign above the urinal that read: "caution please! the handle is leaking and may splash when flushing." not wanting to deal with this possibility, i resolved not to flush the urinal when i finished, or at least to wait until i could easily jump away from the splash zone. however, halfway through my pee, much to my dismay, the urinal suddenly auto-flushed. the handle initially seemed fine following this flush, but sure enough, a couple seconds later, little drops of water began spurting out of the handle toward my shirt, leaving me to try to lean away from the leak while continuing a pee that would have already been finished if i hadn’t put it off for so long. what a nightmare.

thursday february 4

today i went to the blue jays’ state of the franchise event - rebranded this year as "the leadoff" - for the fourth consecutive years as a season ticket holder. for the first time, i felt like i’d truly "figured out" the evening, arriving just in time for the doors to open, making the most of the hour of free food and beer, snagging a table to stand at so i didn’t have to walk around trying to eat food with one hand while holding a drink with the other, and then leaving about 10 minutes into the never-revelatory panel/q&a portion of the night.

wednesday february 3

today i liked a friend’s facebook comment on my wall from seven years ago, having seen it again thanks to facebook’s memories/on this day feature. although the comment hadn’t gotten any likes or comments when it was initially posted, my like today presumably showed up on some friends’ feeds, creating a chain reaction that resulted in it getting nine more likes besides mine, seven years after the fact. not sure how many of those friends even noticed how old it was.

tuesday february 2

today i went to bed at about 9:00 pm, intending to nap for three hours and then get up and work for three or four hours, figuring there’d be far fewer distractions during those morning hours when no one was online. when my alarm went off at midnight though, i hit snooze, then proceeded to either hit snooze or move the alarm back 30-60 minutes at a time, until it was 7:45 am and i’d just ended up sleeping through the entire night instead.

monday february 1

today i planned to meet a friend for drinks. in the afternoon, i asked if we could meet a little later in the evening, citing my need to get groceries and get some work done, though actually my top priority was squeezing in a post-work nap. having not heard from my friend for a few hours by the time i finished work, i assumed a later meet-up time would be fine, and settled in for the nap, setting my alarm for 6:55 pm.

moments later, before i'd fallen asleep, i received a text message from my friend, who apparently hadn’t seen my facebook message from earlier, asking if we could meet at 7:00 pm. giving up on my dream of napping, i said sure, got up, showered, took care of a couple things, and then walked over to three speed to meet her. halfway there, i heard an odd, faint melody playing, and realized it was coming from my pocket, where my phone alarm from my planned nap was going off. a real reminder of what could have been.

sunday january 31

today i went to clean a section of my shower using a vinegar solution and ended up spilling vinegar all over the place. pretty concerned that my bathroom will never not smell like vinegar again.

saturday january 30

today i placed a domino’s order from my girlfriend’s place. following along with the live progress tracker, we saw after about 25 minutes that the order was out for delivery, but after about another 15-20 minutes passed, there was no sign of - or word from - the delivery guy. concerned that perhaps he had missed the instructions about calling us when he arrived, i went down to the entrance of the condo building to make sure he wasn’t futilely waiting there.

when i got to the building lobby, i didn’t see anyone out front, but decided to stick around for a few minutes just in case — no point in going up and down if his arrival was imminent. a minute later, i saw a girl get out of a car across the street and come up to the entrance of the building, where i let her in. as we both stood there in between the building entrance and the door to the lobby, i became increasingly convinced that there was a possibility she was the domino’s delivery person. she had a ton of bags and packages with her, had just got off the phone before she entered the building, and had said she was waiting to meet someone.

not wanting to stand there indefinitely if it turned out that the person she was waiting to meet was me, i finally broke the silence by saying, "sorry, who are you waiting for?" confused, she looked at me and then back toward the lobby (which was out of sight from where i was standing) and said, "uh, it’s fine, he’s right here," gesturing to a guy who was walking up to the door to let her in.

in retrospect, it was quite obvious that she wasn’t the delivery person — none of the bags or packages she was holding were remotely pizza-shaped. so, in an effort to try to avoid creating awkwardness with someone who might be delivering my food, i had in fact been extremely awkward to someone who was just waiting for her boyfriend to let her in, with my "who are you waiting for?" question making me look like a nosy resident who was a little too concerned with building security. never talk to anyone, that’s the lesson here.

friday january 29

today i called visa to activate a new credit card. before i keyed in visa's phone number, i opened up my most recent bank statement, with the intent of going into the call fully prepared to prove my identity. in the past, i’d been asked to name the amount of a recent deposit into my account, and was totally caught off guard, not able to remember the exact amount of my pay cheques and offering only vague details.

for the first time ever though, the process for activating my credit card didn’t involve talking to a human at all. after just entering a couple numbers into my phone, including my date of birth (child’s play compared to deposit amounts), the automated voice let me know my card had now been activated. i hung up pretty disappointed that it was so easy.

thursday january 28

today i was leaving the walmart at dufferin mall through the outdoor exit, and as usual, a cavalcade of grocery carts had piled up just outside the entrance, making it tricky to navigate through them. as i tried to sneak through one gap, i was blocked by a woman who was taking a huge box out of her cart in preparation for grabbing a taxi. the box looked heavy and awkward — some sort of electronics product, i think.

as she struggled to remove the box from her cart, i went to push the cart out of the way, thinking this would be helpful for both of us — i’d get my opening to escape the walmart entrance, and she’d be able to hoist the box up and out of the cart, since it looked like the box was getting sort caught on the side of the cart when she tried to lift it. although this made sense to me in the moment, i soon realized that it would have made way more sense if i’d simply helped her lift the box, rather than moving the object she may have been using for leverage.

while it ended up working out fine, i’m not entirely sure how she felt about my move. i mean, she definitely said something to me, to which i replied, "no problem," but i had headphones on and didn’t really hear what she said. it could have been "thanks." it could have been "uh, could you not?" it could have been anything, really. there are a lot of possibilities that make my "no problem" seem like a perfectly acceptable answer, and just as many possibilities that make it seem like a sarcastic, dick-ish rejoinder.

wednesday january 27

today i went to wise bar to meet up with my book club. there are five of us in the club and the table we sat at had enough room to comfortably seat two on either side, even though there were technically enough chairs for three on either side, as this blogto photo shows:

having arrived third, i ended up in the middle seat on one side of the table, and when the fifth member arrived, he sat next to me, making me the only one at the table sitting between two people. as such, it was a big relief when he asked a minute later if he should swing around to the end of the table, a question to which i immediately replied "yeah." the head of the table probably isn’t the most comfortable seat and it sort of puts you in the way of all the foot traffic coming through the bar, but it’s only fair if you show up last that you should have to deal with that and i should be able to move my elbows around without worrying about hitting anyone.

tuesday january 26

today i saw the animated charlie kaufman film anomalisa. while i was bracing to be hit hard by the film’s themes/message/etc., the thing that instead stuck with me most as i left the theatre was how accurately and realistically it detailed the minutiae of hotels.