tuesday january 30

today i attempted to make a mix cd composed entirely of songs in which the band repeated its own name within the lyrics (non-rap and non-monkee division). i got to 13 tracks and 41 and a half minutes before getting stuck. for now.

monday january 29

today i went to my fridge at 7:00 am, having craved a glass of apple juice for the previous three hours or so. when i didn't see the apple juice container, it was very close to the saddest moment of my life, but when i realized that it was just moved to a different pitcher, the sadness was washed away. in apple juice. i had seconds a half-hour later.

sunday january 28

today i laid in bed for a half-hour with a sweater, coat, and jeans on, as well as my bed's three blankets, and still got goosebumps every now and then, despite the fact that my fever was probably pushing 125 degrees (celsius). disease all over my life.

saturday january 27

today i was driving home when i thought i saw a mouse (or rat) scurrying across the road in front of me. my first instinct was that this was ridiculous -- mice don't cross roads, and it was probably a leaf blowing around or something. after all, once i thought i was about to drive over a flock of birds on the road, but it turned out to be leaves blowing around. however, my second instinct told me that there wouldn't be leaves out at this time of year!! so i'm still unsure whether it was some sort of rodent or maybe just a piece of garbage, but i swerved out of the way just in case.

friday january 26

today i took a bus home in the morning with the following things stuffed in my coat pockets: pair of gloves, half-empty water bottle, half-eaten bag of skittles, discman, extra cd (mylo's destroy rock and roll), two extra batteries, amores perros dvd, and two blue pens.

thursday january 25

today i was buying a sandwich from mr. sub when the guy working there commented on the picture of the car on my 'cruisin for a bruisin' t-shirt. i laughed and nodded and didn't say much because i know nothing about cars, but he continued on, talking about how he recently heard about one of those models of cars being sold for 2.5 million dollars, which was crazy when you could've had one for $1800 back in the day!! i laughed and agreed that it was crazy, while secretly hoping that the next time i got involved in small talk with a stranger it would be about anything but cars.

wednesday january 24

today i was on a crowded 2-dundas bus and amidst the packing in of people, the 'repeat' button on my discman was somehow pressed. digging into my pocket to pull it out, fix this problem, and put it back would've involved elbowing a bunch of people and generally causing a scene, so instead i listened to 'the what' by biggie three times in a row and came to appreciate method man's contribution in a way i never previously had.

tuesday january 23

today i put off a crucial scholastic reading in favour of hanging out at a bar populated by approximately 20 people, and felt it was worth it.

monday january 22

today i came across a last.fm page whose top song, at 254 plays, was "bad day" by daniel powter. up until this point, this had been a song that, although it was something of a guilty - or at least reluctant - pleasure when i heard it on the radio, i'd been able to put off ever downloading because i didn't know who the artist was. now that i knew, i felt compelled to download it. then i listened to it three times today and hated myself a little more after each listen.

sunday january 21

today i locked my car keys in a house that i had no way of getting into.

saturday january 20

today i got my socks so disgustingly dirty that when i took them off, my feet had gotten dirty right through!!

friday january 19

today i ate a whole box of cheese sticks and wanted more when i finished.

thursday january 18

today i wore a sweater all day that was too warm indoors, not warm enough outdoors, and inappropriate for the bars, but i still quite enjoyed it!!

wednesday january 17

today i witnessed someone on my bus take off his headphones and get the attention of a guy sitting near him who he didn't know so that he could share his music with him -- because it was too "on fire" not to share with someone.

tuesday january 16

today i wrote an exam and spent nearly as much time thinking about why there was more hair on certain parts of my hands as i did thinking about trauma in mrs. dalloway, arguably the more relevant topic.

monday january 15

today i did two things i hadn't done in approximately a year: listened to the arcade fire's funeral and spoke to my ex-girlfriend beth.

sunday january 14

today i rediscovered an old book from my childhood called: 'on top of the world: the toronto star's tribute to the '92 blue jays.' i read this for a while in lieu of reading anything for school. 'mrs. dalloway' is okay i guess but it doesn't really hold a candle to seeing pictures of david wells wearing floral-patterned shorts or derek bell getting beer poured on him.

saturday january 13

today i realized the jar of spare change i keep on my dresser had filled up and excitedly decided to clear it out by rolling all the coins. i had visions of becoming hundreds of dollars (ie. exponentially) richer upon eventually rolling all these coins, and was slightly disappointed when my efforts resulted in a mere $38.50.

friday january 12

today i intended to go out in search of a job but instead slept until noon, finished watching season 1 of weeds, and discovered the noisettes, which i feel was just as productive despite the fact that it won't bring in the benjamins.

thursday january 11

today i went to planet pizza for the second time in two days after going there 0 times in my previous 7949 days of existence.

wednesday january 10

today i received an e-mail from my grandmother. it read as follows (BACKSTORY: i recently demonstrated for her my cell phone camera because i knew she'd be fascinated and confused by it, as she is most technology, and this never fails to be amusing):

"hi luke
i thought of you talking about your camera inside your phone when i read this. it all makes me try to remember to be 'aware.'"

this introduction was followed by a lengthy story about a guy who had had his credit card stolen and didn't realize it because the thief had somehow switched it out for an identical credit card. so when the $14,000 bill came back, dude had to pay for most of it because he hadn't reported the card as stolen initially!! what this has to do with my cell phone and its camera, i have absolutely no idea, but i'll report back if i figure it out.

tuesday january 9

today i did so little that at 11:55 pm i briefly considered kicking the guy across the aisle from me on the bus so that, one way or another, i'd have a decent anecdote to share.

monday january 8

today i executed a flawless spit take, albeit unintentionally. water everywhere.

sunday january 7

today i listened to eve 6's "inside out" for the first time in a long while. as i sung along to pretty much all the lyrics, i realized two important things:

1. i want to have, or at least attend, a party that only plays popular 90s rock songs, like "sex and candy" and "semi-charmed life." i could even stomach "tubthumpin,'" maybe.
2. "i would choke on the rinds" is an awfully weird line.

saturday january 6

today i experienced a sudden urge to do a puzzle. not merely a small sudoku or crossword puzzle, but rather a full-fledged jigsaw puzzle. i looked through some cupboards in search of one i could do, and found an unopened 1000-piece puzzle that depicted some sort of natural edenistic haven -- pretty much every piece was green. though i had never completed a puzzle of more than 500 pieces, i figured that with a few years of university education under my belt now, i was bright enough to take on such a challenge (not that 'the mirror stage' would help me piece together the corners, but nonetheless). by the time i'd upturned each of the upside-down pieces and separated all the side pieces i could find, my back was sore and i figured it was time for a break. the puzzle's 1000 pieces currenly sit on the dining room table, with approximately 10 of them locked together and the rest strewn about imposingly all over the place. the urge to do a jigsaw puzzle has faded.

friday january 5

today i received an incredible spam e-mail that reads like a pop song. a dirty pop song. it even plays on the lyrics to christina aguilera's hit single 'genie in a bottle' in the subject line, stating: "your mind is saying let's go but your dick is saying 'no.'" the e-mail body gets even better, noting that: "when your penis forgets about his responsibilities, super cialis will remind him of his abilities," and, in a slight deviation from the impressive lyricism up to this point, promises that "cialis will make a long line of women willing to have sex with you behind your door." gosh they do know how to make their product seem appealing!!

thursday january 4

today i watched four episodes each of arrested development and it's always sunny in philadelphia. it was the sixth time i'd watched the former four and the third time i'd watched the latter four; i feel that all the nuances that revealed themselves during these viewings cemented the fact that these are two of the funniest television shows ever made.

wednesday january 3

today i regretted buying the cheap fruit punch as a mixer when it turned my lips such a bright red that it looked like i was bleeding profusely from the mouth, or possibly sporting a daring shade of lipstick.

tuesday january 2

today i listened to a story involving mistaken identity and outdated phone numbers that was so rife with sitcom potential that i'm already excited about working it into a future script.

monday january 1

today i helped my computer-illiterate grandmother set up her new printer/scanner. during the duration of this time, she used the word 'queer' three different times (for instance, on the way that the paper had to be loaded into the printer: "isn't that a bit queer?"). in each case, it took me a half-second to realize that she wasn't using the word in the culturally relevant way.

sunday december 31

today i bought my underage brother alcohol for a new year's party but didn't get home with it before he left for said party. as such, i was sadly forced to resort to my only option: keeping it for myself.